SPIRITUALITY: TOO MUCH HEAT!

Recently a young lady cried out to me, “Some days are just too much!” Most of us can identify with her proclamation! Have you ever wondered, “What’s the purpose behind all of this? Why doesn’t God intervene and turn down the heat?”

I pray that my response to her may help to shine some light on your circumstances and bring you peace.

I know sometimes it feels like it is too much; that you can’t take any more. Yet, you know what? God is using the pressure of what you consider to be "too much" in order to pursue you! He loves you! He desires more of you and He is relentless! He often turns up the heat until we say, "Take all of me, God! There is no other real purpose in life. Do whatever you want in order to break me and make me fully yours!"

I’ve frequently heard, “All you have to do is fully surrender your heart to Jesus!” So… off I’d go into my little corner determined to “surrender”! Yet, no matter how hard I tried, it seemed as though I could never surrender enough! The guilt was so overwhelming that I often questioned my faith.

What does ‘full surrender’ look like, anyway?

I’ve come to realize that surrendering is not a one time deal, as it is often described. Instead, it is a regular response to an on-going pursuit of God for His child. Each time Father turns up the heat, His child responds by surrendering a bit more.

It’s important, though, to understand that genuine surrendering is not something that we can determine to “muster-up.” Instead, it is something that the Spirit of Jesus works in us, according to His perfect plan and timing.

I know that sometimes it feels like God is just playing games with us. I've accused Him of that myself! However:
• He knows exactly what type of heat and temperature level is needed to accomplish His will within each of us. For you, it may be “minor” health issues. For someone else it might be a life-threatening incident. For me, it may be multiple broken relationships. For someone else it might be a “simple” argument.
• He knows exactly when the next level of surrendering needs to happen. This is not only for your sake, but for those whom your life impacts. God has a panoramic view and He knows precisely when the temperatures need to rise!

Usually the heat gets turned-up again and again
until
He has our attention
and
we realize that it is Him pursuing us!

When we begin to realize this, it's easier to tolerate the heat. Instead of trying to escape through some type of sinful response, there is peace in knowing that He is continuing His work in our lives. In time, we learn to respond as Jesus did when He was faced with the cross, "Lord, this heat feels unbearable. Please remove it from me. However, if there is no other way to accomplish Your will in and through me, give me strength to bear it!”


Whole-Heartedly,
Bonnie

WHO JOINS THIS MAN AND THIS WOMAN?

It’s Wedding Month! In the U.S. alone, 2.3 million couples “tie the knot” every year. Only one out of five adults never marries. From the time of Adam and Eve, the marital relationship between a man and a woman has been ordained by God. However, some things have changed!

Consider that 84 % of Christians marry or that 80% of weddings are performed in churches or synagogues, yet 33 % of these “unions” end in divorce. Something is drastically wrong! Although there are many facets of marriage that need to be addressed, I would like to ponder the concept of marriage licenses.

A little research reveals that marriage has not always required validation by the state or the church. In fact, a marriage license from the county office of the land of Eden wasn’t necessary for Adam and Eve! During the Roman Empire, if a couple regarded each other as husband and wife, the marriage was valid. In fact, for most of Western history, marriage was a private contract between two families.

Even Christianity,
for 1,600 years
defined the validity of a marriage
by
a couple's personal intentions!

Up to the mid-19th century, states ruled that public cohabitation was sufficient evidence of a valid marriage. In fact, it is widely recognized that even George and Martha Washington were married without a license! Today, these couples would be labeled as “living in sin”! Yet, during all these centuries, couples remained together much more consistently than today.

In 1923, the Federal Government established the Uniform Marriage and Marriage License Act. By 1929, every state in the Union had adopted marriage license laws attempting to make marriage an institution. Obviously, all these laws have not helped to stabilize marriages.

Is marriage:
a spiritual union
or
a man-made institution,

a right granted by God to His children
or
a “privilege” controlled by the state?

Black's Law Dictionary defines "license" as, "The permission by competent authority to do an act which without such permission [...] would be illegal. If such permission is required for God’s children, were their marriages prior to the 1900s illicit?

As Citizens of His kingdom, it was God who brought Eve to Adam [Genesis 2:22]. In Hebrew culture, only God’s presence is the necessary legal power to the union. It is God who joins together a husband and wife [Malachi 2:14, 15; Matthew 19:6]. It was and is His authority alone that rules marital covenants. The intervention of another party has never been required.

Yet, listen to the introductory words of a traditional wedding ceremony, “We are gathered together here in the sight of God – and in the face of this company – to join together this man and this woman in holy matrimony…” At the end of the ceremony, the “minister” announces, “And now – through me – He [God] joins you together in one of the holiest bonds.”

Many people who make no claim to be Christian obtain a “license”, arrive at a basilica and pay a man to proclaim “you are now joined together.” Are they “one” in God’s sight? I always wondered why Adam blamed God for his marital problems! Maybe it was because God didn’t invite a clergyman to “do” their wedding!

Although it is understood that Christians are admonished to keep all the laws of men, what do civil laws really say about the necessity of obtaining the courts permission and a “qualified” person to solemnize a marriage? Is marriage without a license “illegal” as the laws seem to imply? According to my research thus far, many, if not all states have a similar disclaimer as this one in Iowa,

595.17 EXCEPTIONS.
The provisions of this chapter, as they relate to procuring
licenses and to the solemnizing of marriages are not applicable to members of a denomination having an unusual mode of entering the marriage relation.

Considering that one-third of all “marriages” end in divorce, perhaps Christians need to return to being “a denomination having an unusual mode” which trusts God to decide which marital covenants He deems legitimate.


Whole-Heartedly,
Bonnie

NATIONALISM - THERE IS A FLAG

When the land was made up of many kingdoms, each king had a flag that flew over his castle. Wherever the king went, the flag was flown overhead so that people could identify his presence.

Even today most nations have a flag which identifies them from others and a designated day each year for honoring their flag. In fact, in some countries, flying their national flag from public buildings is required by law.

The week of June 14 is designated as "National Flag Week.” The president will urge U.S. citizens to fly the American flag throughout the week. All Government buildings are also to display the flag. Various organizations hold parades and events celebrating the American flag and all that it represents.

As children of Christ’s Kingdom, is there a flag that we can raise in order for others to recognize our King and our Nation?

In 1897 there was a “Christian” flag designed during an impromptu speech made by Charles C. Overton. This flag is now flown in thousands of “churches,” most often next to an American flag. In fact, the design of it was inspired by the American flag.

But, do others recognize Jesus when they see this flag flown? Does our King reside in a building? Is this flag visible for those outside the basilica to see? Is it taken wherever our King goes so that others can identify Him? Or is there another kind of flag for citizens of the Kingdom of God to raise that will rightly honor their King?

As I ponder all of this, I’m reminded of a catchy little tune entitled:

THERE IS A FLAG

There is a flag flown from the castle of my heart,
The castle of my heart, the castle of my heart;
There is a flag flown high from the castle of my heart
When the King is in residence there.

So raise it high in the sky, let the whole world know,
Let the whole world know, let the whole world know;
So raise it high in the sky, let the whole world know
That the King is in residence there

Love is the Flag flown from the castle of my heart,
The castle of my heart, the castle of my heart;
Love is the flag flown high from the castle of my heart
When the King is in residence there.

Peace is the Flag flown from the castle of my heart,
The castle of my heart, the castle of my heart;
Peace is the flag flown high from the castle of my heart
When the King is in residence there.

Joy is the Flag flown from the castle of my heart,
The castle of my heart, the castle of my heart;
Joy is the flag flown high from the castle of my heart
When the King is in residence there.

It is my prayer that, during this “National Flag Week,” the holy nation of God will also raise their “flag” as a testimony to all other nations that there is only one King of kings who rules over all and deserves our allegiance.

Whole-Heartedly,
Bonnie

A GOD WHO FORGIVES AND REBUILDS

My niece, Kelly and her husband, Mark came to visit us this weekend. What a joy it was to have them! Kelly and I developed a close bond when she was a little girl. I was 14 when she was born. This was my first experience of being an aunt and I thought she was the most precious thing that ever lived! Many years have passed since then and whenever we are together, we find ourselves reminiscing of the many fond memories we’ve shared. A lot of times, we laugh more than we talk! I enjoy her so much!

Some times I wonder if we aren’t hiding unresolved pain behind all our laughter. As an adult, I was aware of some of the childhood pain that Kelly was experiencing. I hurt for her. As a young girl, Kelly observed much of my pain as I tried to find my way in the adult world. I’m sure this affected Kelly’s heart, as well.

As Kelly moved into her teen and college years, she often spent the weekend with us. She and my son, Jake have a special relationship as a result of those times together. We loved having her! Yet, I helplessly observed as she began to make some of the same mistakes as my own. Again, I wanted to do something to protect her! But, what?

I distinctly remember the day when she called and said, “Aunt B, I’m getting married and I would like for you to sing at my wedding!” What an honor! Yet, when we hung up the phone from that conversation, I cried. I should have been happy for her and I was, but… I also feared that she would experience even more hurt and disappointment. I didn’t want that for her!

As I look back over those years, I realize now that I was so caught-up in trying to keep my own head above water, that I didn’t have the time or energy that Kelly or my other nieces deserved. I was barely making it through my own life, how in the world could I have ever helped them!

Have you ever made decisions that you know set a bad example for those whom you love?
Does your heart break when you consider that following in your footsteps has brought pain into their lives?
Do you ever wish that you could go back and do things all over again?

When we desire to walk in the footsteps of Jesus, He can transform our poor decisions into blessings which we can pass along to others. Through the guidance of His Spirit we can be strong enough in the Lord to be available for those we love. Having experienced some healing of our own, we can set a godly example for them.

The Lord seems to be providing opportunities for me to connect with several of my nieces in deeper ways than I had ever imagined. I am so thankful! Yet, my heart aches as I learn how much their lives have been affected by this world of sin. I want to be humble enough to share with them how the Lord has used the trials and poor choices in my life to draw me closer to Him. I want to be “Jesus with skin on” and love my nieces right where they are. Maybe… just maybe, I can help them find the healing and wholeness in their lives for which Jesus died.

We may not be able to go back and do things over again. However, we have been blessed with a God who forgives and rebuilds!


Whole-Heartedly,
Bonnie

LIFESTYLE - THE GRAVES OF THE RIGHTEOUS

Memories of Memorial Day festivities have been flittering through my mind: picnics, playing in the park, splashing in the lake, and endless games of baseball with siblings and cousin. However, before any of that took place, we always made trips to several cemeteries. Although we barely had enough money for groceries, Momma always made sure that the grave sites of loved ones were nicely decorated.

I have pictures of my siblings, cousins and me standing in our Sunday best at the cemetery biting at the bit to change our clothes and get to the park! Walking through the cemetery searching for the family graves was like walking on egg shells and it wasn’t because momma allowed high-heels for Sunday attire! Instead, if it looked like we were even close to stepping on a grave; our arm was nearly pulled out of socket!

Many practices people preserve such as placing flowers, lights, epitaphs and pictures on frequently elaborate tomb stones remind me of a story about a young new wife who planned to fix a roast for her beloved husband. Prior to placing the roast in the pan, she cut the end of it off. When her husband questioned her about why, she responded, “I don’t know. That’s what mom always did.” When she inquired, her mother responded, “I don’t know. That’s what Gramma always did.” When the mother inquired, Gramma’s response was, “Because I didn’t have a pan big enough for the roast!”

A Sunday drive past a cemetery shortly after Memorial Day reminds us that these grave yard traditions are still held in high regard by many. In fact, the over-flowing bags of decorations my friend collects before mowing cemeteries is only a small sample of what people spend on decorating grave sites!

Please understand that I’m not criticizing the deep emotional pain and grief experienced when someone we love dies. Even Jesus experienced this (John 11:33, 35). I’m also not suggesting that it is wrong to cherish the memory of a loved one. However, referring to such practices as building elaborate monuments and decorating graves, Jesus said:

“Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites!
For you build the tombs of the prophets
and
decorate the graves of the righteous, ….” (Matt. 23:29).

I want to understand why Jesus made such a reference. We need to be careful that we do not practice traditional coping mechanisms which go beyond what pleases God.

In my efforts to learn more, I have spent several hours researching this topic and have discovered that, at least in part, “decorating graves with flowers and wreaths, alms and good deeds, were intended to shorten the time of suffering of the souls of the deceased in purgatory.” I have found that these customs have developed out of ancient pagan practices including those of the Cult of the Dead. This concerns me! I don’t want to be upholding and perpetuating anything that does not glorify my Lord, Jesus!

If you enjoy doing research or have reliable information about the history of these practices, I’d love to hear from you! Maybe the Lord will encourage me to write about this again once I’ve developed a clearer understanding.

Whole-Heartedly,
Bonnie

THE MISSING LINK IN RELATIONSHIPS

Expressing frustration and hurt regarding broken relationships, a young lady recently shared, “Everytime I finally reach solid ground, there’s an earthquake and I fall right back to the dark bottomless pit. I’m so angry with myself!” My heart went out to her because I understand her pain and confusion. Because she reported that my response to her “hit the nail on the head,” I thought it might be helpful to others who find themselves in a similar situation.

I want to share a memory with you that has come to mind several times while praying for you.

One day when I was grieving yet another failing relationship, I cried out to the Lord, "What is it about me that attracts such messed-up people?" His immediate response, "Bonnie, have you ever considered that the reason you repeatedly get into these kinds of relationships is because you never ask My opinion about them." I froze in my tracks. I hadn't even considered this! How could I expect relationships to be fulfilling if they weren’t relationships that God desired for me in the first place?

It was at this point when I realized, “There are hurting, ‘messed-up’ people no matter where I go and if I don’t deal with the issues in my own heart that attract me to them in the first place, I’ll get connected with them no matter where I go! Unless I want to repeat the painful process, I must start seeking God’s guidance and direction in relationships.”

I was beginning to realize that there are “healthier” people out there, but unhealthy people don’t attract healthy people! Consequently, I found myself asking, “What causes me to be attracted to these people to begin with?”

I often connected with wounded people because I could identify with their pain and I wanted to help them. I sense you have a similar heart. In some ways I did help them. Yet, I would end up getting hurt because they weren’t meeting my needs. I expected unhealthy people to respond in a healthy way. They can’t!

I realize now that I was also placing too much emphasis on trying to get my needs met through people. I need a dad, but…other men can’t fill that void. I need unconditional love, but… wounded family and friends aren’t capable of that. In fact, if people could fulfill those needs, we wouldn’t need God! Do you suppose that He may have designed things that way?

The only way that our relationships will come even close to being fulfilling is if we seek intimacy with Jesus first.

I realize that this may sound kind of trite, but in my efforts to deal with the hurt and disappointments of relationships, I have found that this is true. When we place our relationship with Jesus in its proper order, we will find that we begin to seek out relationships with others who certainly won’t be perfect, but who also desire and are working toward getting their lives on the “right track.” This doesn’t mean that we won’t connect with “unhealthy” people. If we walk in the footsteps of Jesus, we certainly will. However, our motives for doing so and our response to their unhealthiness will be changed.

I freely admit that I don’t have all the answers, but… if I can help others by exposing my mistakes and sharing the lessons I’ve learned along the way, it makes the struggles all worth it. Be assured that I’d be willing to go through it all over again to see both your and other’s lives filled with genuine peace and joy.

Whole-Heartedly,
Bonnie

NATIONALISM - ARMED FORCES DAY and POWER for PEACE

The theme for this year’s U.S. celebration of Armed Forces Day is “United in Strength.” We have the:

• second largest military in the world (1,454,515 active and 848,000 reserve soldiers).
• largest annual budget in the world ($692 billion), 42 percent of world military expenditures.

"The support of an informed American people is increasingly important to the Armed Forces …. I, therefore, encourage members of the DoD to observe Armed Forces Day by informing the American people of our 'Power for Peace' and by confirming their faith that in our strength we will remain free." - former Secretary of Defense, Robert S. McNamara.

However, according to this unnamed military sergeant, most soldiers aren’t able to accurately inform Americans,

"My thoughts and beliefs are somewhat confused these days. But, I want to express some feelings I've kept inside for some time. I'm a Sergeant in the U.S. Many soldiers feel something is wrong with some of our missions and some of the things we are being commanded to do, so few actually know what is going on in the military and the world today.

"As did most, I entered the military to serve and protect the freedoms and property of the people of my own nation against communism…. Several of us, including the Lieutenant, understand that we are once again being used to undermine the present government of this non-communist dictatorship and prepare it to become another asset of the United Nations. Understanding this, puts us in a shameful and stressful situation. It's difficult to change one's job description from one of guarantor of freedom to one of facilitator of world slavery.

"... Soldiers and 'the folks back home' are told that we're helping the poor and oppressed people in other countries. I could live with that, but it's not true. It's like we are mercenaries for the highest bidder, not American soldiers…

"...We have been instructed that any U.S. individuals or groups that espouse …'patriotic activism', 'constitutional violations' or government conspiracies are subversives and it will do our careers severe damage to express interest... That speaks volumes, since some in the military are members of anti-American movements. …Having a leftist world view is somewhat beneficial at promotion time. …it does seem the day may come when we will all have to decide whom and what we will serve.

"…Many …are misled to believe that a one-world system is going to be our answer to total equality and freedom. ...Under the United Nations' world government plan… rich Marxists in America and around the world are no respecters of persons. …All non-wealthy …peoples of the world, will be enslaved …to serve the masters of a 'world plantation'."

If we would only remove our distorted lenses, we would see the evidence supporting this soldier’s concerns. Subjection to a despotic government is not freedom! My guts wrench and my heart aches considering such deception and manipulation! How can we help the precious men and women who, in “good conscience” committed their lives to “serving the people of their nation?”

Many suggest that the only answer is to “reclaim our American roots.” I wonder if these soldiers consider such “solutions” or… do they recognize the roots as having set the stage for the culmination of that which was determined all along?

In spite of 1, 194,198+ American military fatalities, according to economist and historian Robert Higgs, “the U.S. government’s economic and military interventions have reduced the civil and economic liberties, prosperity, and genuine security of Americans. Although …on the winning side of World War I, World War II, and the Cold War, Americans ended up with fewer liberties than they had before the wars. Every year, orators declare that our leaders have gone to war to preserve our freedoms and have done so with glorious success, but the truth is just the opposite. War—the quintessential government activity—has been the mother’s milk for the nourishment of a growing tyranny in this country, and it remains so today.”

"I believe there are more instances of the abridgement of the freedom of the people by gradual and silent encroachments of those in power than by violent and sudden usurpations." -James Madison

Are we truly honoring “those who serve” by ignoring the deceptive claims made by national leaders? Are we willing to help them see that it has never been nor will it ever be an earthly military with “'Power for Peace' and in who’s strength we will remain free?" Are we willing to stand by them as they face the shame and struggle to decide whom and what they will serve?

The only genuine comfort to offer them is the assurance that Jesus is the true source of power, peace and freedom! Confirming our faith in any other will always lead to deception! “No one can serve two masters.”

Whole-Heartedly,
Bonnie