Memories of Memorial Day festivities have been flittering through my mind: picnics, playing in the park, splashing in the lake, and endless games of baseball with siblings and cousin. However, before any of that took place, we always made trips to several cemeteries. Although we barely had enough money for groceries, Momma always made sure that the grave sites of loved ones were nicely decorated.
I have pictures of my siblings, cousins and me standing in our Sunday best at the cemetery biting at the bit to change our clothes and get to the park! Walking through the cemetery searching for the family graves was like walking on egg shells and it wasn’t because momma allowed high-heels for Sunday attire! Instead, if it looked like we were even close to stepping on a grave; our arm was nearly pulled out of socket!
Many practices people preserve such as placing flowers, lights, epitaphs and pictures on frequently elaborate tomb stones remind me of a story about a young new wife who planned to fix a roast for her beloved husband. Prior to placing the roast in the pan, she cut the end of it off. When her husband questioned her about why, she responded, “I don’t know. That’s what mom always did.” When she inquired, her mother responded, “I don’t know. That’s what Gramma always did.” When the mother inquired, Gramma’s response was, “Because I didn’t have a pan big enough for the roast!”
A Sunday drive past a cemetery shortly after Memorial Day reminds us that these grave yard traditions are still held in high regard by many. In fact, the over-flowing bags of decorations my friend collects before mowing cemeteries is only a small sample of what people spend on decorating grave sites!
Please understand that I’m not criticizing the deep emotional pain and grief experienced when someone we love dies. Even Jesus experienced this (John 11:33, 35). I’m also not suggesting that it is wrong to cherish the memory of a loved one. However, referring to such practices as building elaborate monuments and decorating graves, Jesus said:
“Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites!
For you build the tombs of the prophets
and
decorate the graves of the righteous, ….” (Matt. 23:29).
I want to understand why Jesus made such a reference. We need to be careful that we do not practice traditional coping mechanisms which go beyond what pleases God.
In my efforts to learn more, I have spent several hours researching this topic and have discovered that, at least in part, “decorating graves with flowers and wreaths, alms and good deeds, were intended to shorten the time of suffering of the souls of the deceased in purgatory.” I have found that these customs have developed out of ancient pagan practices including those of the Cult of the Dead. This concerns me! I don’t want to be upholding and perpetuating anything that does not glorify my Lord, Jesus!
If you enjoy doing research or have reliable information about the history of these practices, I’d love to hear from you! Maybe the Lord will encourage me to write about this again once I’ve developed a clearer understanding.
Whole-Heartedly,
Bonnie
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Thursday, May 20, 2010
THE MISSING LINK IN RELATIONSHIPS
Expressing frustration and hurt regarding broken relationships, a young lady recently shared, “Everytime I finally reach solid ground, there’s an earthquake and I fall right back to the dark bottomless pit. I’m so angry with myself!” My heart went out to her because I understand her pain and confusion. Because she reported that my response to her “hit the nail on the head,” I thought it might be helpful to others who find themselves in a similar situation.
I want to share a memory with you that has come to mind several times while praying for you.
One day when I was grieving yet another failing relationship, I cried out to the Lord, "What is it about me that attracts such messed-up people?" His immediate response, "Bonnie, have you ever considered that the reason you repeatedly get into these kinds of relationships is because you never ask My opinion about them." I froze in my tracks. I hadn't even considered this! How could I expect relationships to be fulfilling if they weren’t relationships that God desired for me in the first place?
It was at this point when I realized, “There are hurting, ‘messed-up’ people no matter where I go and if I don’t deal with the issues in my own heart that attract me to them in the first place, I’ll get connected with them no matter where I go! Unless I want to repeat the painful process, I must start seeking God’s guidance and direction in relationships.”
I was beginning to realize that there are “healthier” people out there, but unhealthy people don’t attract healthy people! Consequently, I found myself asking, “What causes me to be attracted to these people to begin with?”
I often connected with wounded people because I could identify with their pain and I wanted to help them. I sense you have a similar heart. In some ways I did help them. Yet, I would end up getting hurt because they weren’t meeting my needs. I expected unhealthy people to respond in a healthy way. They can’t!
I realize now that I was also placing too much emphasis on trying to get my needs met through people. I need a dad, but…other men can’t fill that void. I need unconditional love, but… wounded family and friends aren’t capable of that. In fact, if people could fulfill those needs, we wouldn’t need God! Do you suppose that He may have designed things that way?
The only way that our relationships will come even close to being fulfilling is if we seek intimacy with Jesus first.
I realize that this may sound kind of trite, but in my efforts to deal with the hurt and disappointments of relationships, I have found that this is true. When we place our relationship with Jesus in its proper order, we will find that we begin to seek out relationships with others who certainly won’t be perfect, but who also desire and are working toward getting their lives on the “right track.” This doesn’t mean that we won’t connect with “unhealthy” people. If we walk in the footsteps of Jesus, we certainly will. However, our motives for doing so and our response to their unhealthiness will be changed.
I freely admit that I don’t have all the answers, but… if I can help others by exposing my mistakes and sharing the lessons I’ve learned along the way, it makes the struggles all worth it. Be assured that I’d be willing to go through it all over again to see both your and other’s lives filled with genuine peace and joy.
Whole-Heartedly,
Bonnie
I want to share a memory with you that has come to mind several times while praying for you.
One day when I was grieving yet another failing relationship, I cried out to the Lord, "What is it about me that attracts such messed-up people?" His immediate response, "Bonnie, have you ever considered that the reason you repeatedly get into these kinds of relationships is because you never ask My opinion about them." I froze in my tracks. I hadn't even considered this! How could I expect relationships to be fulfilling if they weren’t relationships that God desired for me in the first place?
It was at this point when I realized, “There are hurting, ‘messed-up’ people no matter where I go and if I don’t deal with the issues in my own heart that attract me to them in the first place, I’ll get connected with them no matter where I go! Unless I want to repeat the painful process, I must start seeking God’s guidance and direction in relationships.”
I was beginning to realize that there are “healthier” people out there, but unhealthy people don’t attract healthy people! Consequently, I found myself asking, “What causes me to be attracted to these people to begin with?”
I often connected with wounded people because I could identify with their pain and I wanted to help them. I sense you have a similar heart. In some ways I did help them. Yet, I would end up getting hurt because they weren’t meeting my needs. I expected unhealthy people to respond in a healthy way. They can’t!
I realize now that I was also placing too much emphasis on trying to get my needs met through people. I need a dad, but…other men can’t fill that void. I need unconditional love, but… wounded family and friends aren’t capable of that. In fact, if people could fulfill those needs, we wouldn’t need God! Do you suppose that He may have designed things that way?
The only way that our relationships will come even close to being fulfilling is if we seek intimacy with Jesus first.
I realize that this may sound kind of trite, but in my efforts to deal with the hurt and disappointments of relationships, I have found that this is true. When we place our relationship with Jesus in its proper order, we will find that we begin to seek out relationships with others who certainly won’t be perfect, but who also desire and are working toward getting their lives on the “right track.” This doesn’t mean that we won’t connect with “unhealthy” people. If we walk in the footsteps of Jesus, we certainly will. However, our motives for doing so and our response to their unhealthiness will be changed.
I freely admit that I don’t have all the answers, but… if I can help others by exposing my mistakes and sharing the lessons I’ve learned along the way, it makes the struggles all worth it. Be assured that I’d be willing to go through it all over again to see both your and other’s lives filled with genuine peace and joy.
Whole-Heartedly,
Bonnie
Thursday, May 13, 2010
NATIONALISM - ARMED FORCES DAY and POWER for PEACE
The theme for this year’s U.S. celebration of Armed Forces Day is “United in Strength.” We have the:
• second largest military in the world (1,454,515 active and 848,000 reserve soldiers).
• largest annual budget in the world ($692 billion), 42 percent of world military expenditures.
"The support of an informed American people is increasingly important to the Armed Forces …. I, therefore, encourage members of the DoD to observe Armed Forces Day by informing the American people of our 'Power for Peace' and by confirming their faith that in our strength we will remain free." - former Secretary of Defense, Robert S. McNamara.
However, according to this unnamed military sergeant, most soldiers aren’t able to accurately inform Americans,
"My thoughts and beliefs are somewhat confused these days. But, I want to express some feelings I've kept inside for some time. I'm a Sergeant in the U.S. Many soldiers feel something is wrong with some of our missions and some of the things we are being commanded to do, so few actually know what is going on in the military and the world today.
"As did most, I entered the military to serve and protect the freedoms and property of the people of my own nation against communism…. Several of us, including the Lieutenant, understand that we are once again being used to undermine the present government of this non-communist dictatorship and prepare it to become another asset of the United Nations. Understanding this, puts us in a shameful and stressful situation. It's difficult to change one's job description from one of guarantor of freedom to one of facilitator of world slavery.
"... Soldiers and 'the folks back home' are told that we're helping the poor and oppressed people in other countries. I could live with that, but it's not true. It's like we are mercenaries for the highest bidder, not American soldiers…
"...We have been instructed that any U.S. individuals or groups that espouse …'patriotic activism', 'constitutional violations' or government conspiracies are subversives and it will do our careers severe damage to express interest... That speaks volumes, since some in the military are members of anti-American movements. …Having a leftist world view is somewhat beneficial at promotion time. …it does seem the day may come when we will all have to decide whom and what we will serve.
"…Many …are misled to believe that a one-world system is going to be our answer to total equality and freedom. ...Under the United Nations' world government plan… rich Marxists in America and around the world are no respecters of persons. …All non-wealthy …peoples of the world, will be enslaved …to serve the masters of a 'world plantation'."
If we would only remove our distorted lenses, we would see the evidence supporting this soldier’s concerns. Subjection to a despotic government is not freedom! My guts wrench and my heart aches considering such deception and manipulation! How can we help the precious men and women who, in “good conscience” committed their lives to “serving the people of their nation?”
Many suggest that the only answer is to “reclaim our American roots.” I wonder if these soldiers consider such “solutions” or… do they recognize the roots as having set the stage for the culmination of that which was determined all along?
In spite of 1, 194,198+ American military fatalities, according to economist and historian Robert Higgs, “the U.S. government’s economic and military interventions have reduced the civil and economic liberties, prosperity, and genuine security of Americans. Although …on the winning side of World War I, World War II, and the Cold War, Americans ended up with fewer liberties than they had before the wars. Every year, orators declare that our leaders have gone to war to preserve our freedoms and have done so with glorious success, but the truth is just the opposite. War—the quintessential government activity—has been the mother’s milk for the nourishment of a growing tyranny in this country, and it remains so today.”
"I believe there are more instances of the abridgement of the freedom of the people by gradual and silent encroachments of those in power than by violent and sudden usurpations." -James Madison
Are we truly honoring “those who serve” by ignoring the deceptive claims made by national leaders? Are we willing to help them see that it has never been nor will it ever be an earthly military with “'Power for Peace' and in who’s strength we will remain free?" Are we willing to stand by them as they face the shame and struggle to decide whom and what they will serve?
The only genuine comfort to offer them is the assurance that Jesus is the true source of power, peace and freedom! Confirming our faith in any other will always lead to deception! “No one can serve two masters.”
Whole-Heartedly,
Bonnie
• second largest military in the world (1,454,515 active and 848,000 reserve soldiers).
• largest annual budget in the world ($692 billion), 42 percent of world military expenditures.
"The support of an informed American people is increasingly important to the Armed Forces …. I, therefore, encourage members of the DoD to observe Armed Forces Day by informing the American people of our 'Power for Peace' and by confirming their faith that in our strength we will remain free." - former Secretary of Defense, Robert S. McNamara.
However, according to this unnamed military sergeant, most soldiers aren’t able to accurately inform Americans,
"My thoughts and beliefs are somewhat confused these days. But, I want to express some feelings I've kept inside for some time. I'm a Sergeant in the U.S. Many soldiers feel something is wrong with some of our missions and some of the things we are being commanded to do, so few actually know what is going on in the military and the world today.
"As did most, I entered the military to serve and protect the freedoms and property of the people of my own nation against communism…. Several of us, including the Lieutenant, understand that we are once again being used to undermine the present government of this non-communist dictatorship and prepare it to become another asset of the United Nations. Understanding this, puts us in a shameful and stressful situation. It's difficult to change one's job description from one of guarantor of freedom to one of facilitator of world slavery.
"... Soldiers and 'the folks back home' are told that we're helping the poor and oppressed people in other countries. I could live with that, but it's not true. It's like we are mercenaries for the highest bidder, not American soldiers…
"...We have been instructed that any U.S. individuals or groups that espouse …'patriotic activism', 'constitutional violations' or government conspiracies are subversives and it will do our careers severe damage to express interest... That speaks volumes, since some in the military are members of anti-American movements. …Having a leftist world view is somewhat beneficial at promotion time. …it does seem the day may come when we will all have to decide whom and what we will serve.
"…Many …are misled to believe that a one-world system is going to be our answer to total equality and freedom. ...Under the United Nations' world government plan… rich Marxists in America and around the world are no respecters of persons. …All non-wealthy …peoples of the world, will be enslaved …to serve the masters of a 'world plantation'."
If we would only remove our distorted lenses, we would see the evidence supporting this soldier’s concerns. Subjection to a despotic government is not freedom! My guts wrench and my heart aches considering such deception and manipulation! How can we help the precious men and women who, in “good conscience” committed their lives to “serving the people of their nation?”
Many suggest that the only answer is to “reclaim our American roots.” I wonder if these soldiers consider such “solutions” or… do they recognize the roots as having set the stage for the culmination of that which was determined all along?
In spite of 1, 194,198+ American military fatalities, according to economist and historian Robert Higgs, “the U.S. government’s economic and military interventions have reduced the civil and economic liberties, prosperity, and genuine security of Americans. Although …on the winning side of World War I, World War II, and the Cold War, Americans ended up with fewer liberties than they had before the wars. Every year, orators declare that our leaders have gone to war to preserve our freedoms and have done so with glorious success, but the truth is just the opposite. War—the quintessential government activity—has been the mother’s milk for the nourishment of a growing tyranny in this country, and it remains so today.”
"I believe there are more instances of the abridgement of the freedom of the people by gradual and silent encroachments of those in power than by violent and sudden usurpations." -James Madison
Are we truly honoring “those who serve” by ignoring the deceptive claims made by national leaders? Are we willing to help them see that it has never been nor will it ever be an earthly military with “'Power for Peace' and in who’s strength we will remain free?" Are we willing to stand by them as they face the shame and struggle to decide whom and what they will serve?
The only genuine comfort to offer them is the assurance that Jesus is the true source of power, peace and freedom! Confirming our faith in any other will always lead to deception! “No one can serve two masters.”
Whole-Heartedly,
Bonnie
Thursday, May 6, 2010
SPIRITUAL - FOLLOWING JESUS IN EARTHLY RELATIONSHIPS - Part 2
Considering last week’s discussion:
1) What is the Biblical image of honoring our parents?
We are to credit our parents for being used by God to give us the physical birth necessary to accomplish His will in and through us. It seems that in every Scriptural case, honoring parents refers to obeying them when we are young children, helping them when they are in need and not cursing/speaking badly about them [Leviticus 19:3, 20:9, John 19:26, Ephesians 6:1, 1 Timothy 5:8]. No more and no less is described.
2) How do we respond to “negative family relationships?”
When Jesus’ earthly family sought to pull Him away
from His Father’s work,
He set a boundary with them because
His focus had to be on His Kingdom.
He encourages us to do the same:
• Obscenity, foolish talk and coarse joking - God’s people are warned, “You must keep so far from it that it is not even suspected! …You can be assured that no one – (who commits such sin) - has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ…” [Ephesians 5: 3-5]. This is not a laughing matter!
• Ungodly activity – God’s people are commanded to “say ‘No’ to ungodliness and worldly passions” [Titus 2:12] and “flee every kind of evil” [1 Thessalonians 5:22].
• Gossip - Gossipers “are people who give out information, whether true or false, which is detrimental to the character or welfare of others…. Those who do such things deserve death” [Romans 1:29, 32. The Source]. If you have ever experienced or witnessed the damage in relationships that gossip creates [Proverbs 16:28], you will understand why God speaks so strongly against this and will separate yourself from it.
We have a responsibility to lovingly draw the damaging effects of these depravities to our family’s attention. If this is done to no avail, the next step is to separate ourselves by ending a phone conversation, leaving the room or even the premises, if necessary.
Establishing boundaries may cause family members to think that you are unforgiving and unloving. However, there is a big difference between establishing boundaries with those who are untrustworthy vs. unforgiveness. Boundary-setting can and should be done without resentment. Although it doesn’t always feel like it, setting healthy boundaries is often the most loving thing to do. Until a person demonstrates that they have become trustworthy in a particular regard, the boundary must remain in place.
Expect that boundary setting may lead to disconnection with your family members. They may choose to distance themselves or you may have to distance yourself in order to not be drawn into their ungodly behavior. This often leads to feeling isolated from those you love. Yet, God frequently uses this disconnection to draw us nearer to Him and our Kingdom family. As difficult as it can be, keep in mind that this is His greater concern.
Once you have established solid boundaries, family members may speak badly about you. As tempting as it may be, there is no need to defend yourself. Wait upon the Lord! Yes, this is very difficult! However, as the years go by, those who have thought, spoken or heard poorly about you will begin to see the truth rise to the surface and the one who slandered you will be exposed [Luke 8:17].
A dangerous trap that is often set before us when we begin to walk in the light of God’s truth is to become hypocritical. We have no business setting boundaries regarding others when we are not diligently purifying our own lives. We must act carefully to set an example by not allowing any unwholesome talk or slander come from our own lips, indulging in impure acts and by protecting our minds from things which are an abomination to God [Ephesians 4:23, 29, 31, 5:15]. Those whom we love will only become more resentful of us and our boundaries if we are not “practicing what we preach!”
As followers of Jesus,
He holds us accountable to demonstrating
His purity, love and grace
in order to bring salvation to those He has chosen
[Acts 13:47].
Whole-Heartedly,
Bonnie
1) What is the Biblical image of honoring our parents?
We are to credit our parents for being used by God to give us the physical birth necessary to accomplish His will in and through us. It seems that in every Scriptural case, honoring parents refers to obeying them when we are young children, helping them when they are in need and not cursing/speaking badly about them [Leviticus 19:3, 20:9, John 19:26, Ephesians 6:1, 1 Timothy 5:8]. No more and no less is described.
2) How do we respond to “negative family relationships?”
When Jesus’ earthly family sought to pull Him away
from His Father’s work,
He set a boundary with them because
His focus had to be on His Kingdom.
He encourages us to do the same:
• Obscenity, foolish talk and coarse joking - God’s people are warned, “You must keep so far from it that it is not even suspected! …You can be assured that no one – (who commits such sin) - has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ…” [Ephesians 5: 3-5]. This is not a laughing matter!
• Ungodly activity – God’s people are commanded to “say ‘No’ to ungodliness and worldly passions” [Titus 2:12] and “flee every kind of evil” [1 Thessalonians 5:22].
• Gossip - Gossipers “are people who give out information, whether true or false, which is detrimental to the character or welfare of others…. Those who do such things deserve death” [Romans 1:29, 32. The Source]. If you have ever experienced or witnessed the damage in relationships that gossip creates [Proverbs 16:28], you will understand why God speaks so strongly against this and will separate yourself from it.
We have a responsibility to lovingly draw the damaging effects of these depravities to our family’s attention. If this is done to no avail, the next step is to separate ourselves by ending a phone conversation, leaving the room or even the premises, if necessary.
Establishing boundaries may cause family members to think that you are unforgiving and unloving. However, there is a big difference between establishing boundaries with those who are untrustworthy vs. unforgiveness. Boundary-setting can and should be done without resentment. Although it doesn’t always feel like it, setting healthy boundaries is often the most loving thing to do. Until a person demonstrates that they have become trustworthy in a particular regard, the boundary must remain in place.
Expect that boundary setting may lead to disconnection with your family members. They may choose to distance themselves or you may have to distance yourself in order to not be drawn into their ungodly behavior. This often leads to feeling isolated from those you love. Yet, God frequently uses this disconnection to draw us nearer to Him and our Kingdom family. As difficult as it can be, keep in mind that this is His greater concern.
Once you have established solid boundaries, family members may speak badly about you. As tempting as it may be, there is no need to defend yourself. Wait upon the Lord! Yes, this is very difficult! However, as the years go by, those who have thought, spoken or heard poorly about you will begin to see the truth rise to the surface and the one who slandered you will be exposed [Luke 8:17].
A dangerous trap that is often set before us when we begin to walk in the light of God’s truth is to become hypocritical. We have no business setting boundaries regarding others when we are not diligently purifying our own lives. We must act carefully to set an example by not allowing any unwholesome talk or slander come from our own lips, indulging in impure acts and by protecting our minds from things which are an abomination to God [Ephesians 4:23, 29, 31, 5:15]. Those whom we love will only become more resentful of us and our boundaries if we are not “practicing what we preach!”
As followers of Jesus,
He holds us accountable to demonstrating
His purity, love and grace
in order to bring salvation to those He has chosen
[Acts 13:47].
Whole-Heartedly,
Bonnie
Thursday, April 29, 2010
SPIRITUAL - FOLLOWING JESUS IN EARTHLY RELATIONSHIPS
I’m certain that many of you can identify with difficult family relationships. Maybe sharing my response to the following questions recently posed to me will be helpful to some of, as well.
“What do you do when you realize that you have outgrown certain people in your life and it’s your family? I seriously have absolutely no desire to be around them! I do it out of ‘family responsibility.’ How do you extricate yourself from those negative relationships without feeling guilty! I’m trying to do the whole ‘honor thy mother and father’ thing, but find it very hard most times.”
While I’m comfortable sharing what the Lord has taught me about relationships, I must preface my response with an acknowledgement that I still don’t have this area all figured out and often fail miserably!
As we walk with Jesus
and become increasingly transformed into His image,
we can expect that our approach to life
may be understood as judgment upon and rejection of
family members who aren’t growing along with us.
Even Jesus’ family faced this:
• When Jesus’ family heard about His life-style, “they went to take charge of him, for they said, ‘He is out of his mind’” [Mark 3:21].
• Jesus’ response? “Who are my mother and brothers? Whoever does God’s will is my brother and sister and mother” [Mark 3:33].
From an earthly perspective, Jesus’ response doesn’t seem honoring or loving. Yet, we must always use Him as our guide. What kind of relationship did Jesus have with his earthly family?
While the world places a great emphasis on “family responsibility,” I’m not aware of any other Scripture that specifically describes Jesus’ relationship with His earthly siblings and there are very few regarding His relationship with His earthly parents.
Jesus does, however, talk about relationships between believing and unbelieving family members. The inevitable result of Christ’s coming is conflict between them!
• “For I have come to turn “a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, … a man’s enemies will be the members of his own household” [Matthew 10:35-36].
• “Brother will betray brother to death, and a father his child. Children will rebel against their parents and have them put to death” [Mark 13:12].
I also long for deeper relationships. Yet, I’ve learned that letting go of my vision of them causes me to draw closer to and be more dependent upon Jesus and His vision of family. While this can be very painful, I’m finding that this is exactly what He desires!
“Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; and anyone who does not take up His cross and follow me is not worthy of me” [Matthew 10:37-39].
Although I can’t identify any Scriptural guidelines regarding frequency of visits or calls, attending “holiday” celebrations, gift giving, etc., Jesus’ expectations for earthly relationships are obviously different from those of the world;
• When Jesus said, “Follow me” …the man replied, “Lord, first let me go and bury my father.” Jesus said to him, “Let the dead bury their own dead, but you go and proclaim the kingdom of God.” Still another said, “I will follow you, Lord but first let me go back and say good-bye to my family.” Jesus replied, “No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God” [Luke 9:59-62].
It seems that being about the Father’s business often makes it impossible and even unnecessary to fulfill the world’s standards!
Keeping all this in mind, let’s consider the Biblical image of honoring our parents and how we are to respond to “negative family relationships” next Thursday.
Whole-Heartedly,
Bonnie
“What do you do when you realize that you have outgrown certain people in your life and it’s your family? I seriously have absolutely no desire to be around them! I do it out of ‘family responsibility.’ How do you extricate yourself from those negative relationships without feeling guilty! I’m trying to do the whole ‘honor thy mother and father’ thing, but find it very hard most times.”
While I’m comfortable sharing what the Lord has taught me about relationships, I must preface my response with an acknowledgement that I still don’t have this area all figured out and often fail miserably!
As we walk with Jesus
and become increasingly transformed into His image,
we can expect that our approach to life
may be understood as judgment upon and rejection of
family members who aren’t growing along with us.
Even Jesus’ family faced this:
• When Jesus’ family heard about His life-style, “they went to take charge of him, for they said, ‘He is out of his mind’” [Mark 3:21].
• Jesus’ response? “Who are my mother and brothers? Whoever does God’s will is my brother and sister and mother” [Mark 3:33].
From an earthly perspective, Jesus’ response doesn’t seem honoring or loving. Yet, we must always use Him as our guide. What kind of relationship did Jesus have with his earthly family?
While the world places a great emphasis on “family responsibility,” I’m not aware of any other Scripture that specifically describes Jesus’ relationship with His earthly siblings and there are very few regarding His relationship with His earthly parents.
Jesus does, however, talk about relationships between believing and unbelieving family members. The inevitable result of Christ’s coming is conflict between them!
• “For I have come to turn “a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, … a man’s enemies will be the members of his own household” [Matthew 10:35-36].
• “Brother will betray brother to death, and a father his child. Children will rebel against their parents and have them put to death” [Mark 13:12].
I also long for deeper relationships. Yet, I’ve learned that letting go of my vision of them causes me to draw closer to and be more dependent upon Jesus and His vision of family. While this can be very painful, I’m finding that this is exactly what He desires!
“Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; and anyone who does not take up His cross and follow me is not worthy of me” [Matthew 10:37-39].
Although I can’t identify any Scriptural guidelines regarding frequency of visits or calls, attending “holiday” celebrations, gift giving, etc., Jesus’ expectations for earthly relationships are obviously different from those of the world;
• When Jesus said, “Follow me” …the man replied, “Lord, first let me go and bury my father.” Jesus said to him, “Let the dead bury their own dead, but you go and proclaim the kingdom of God.” Still another said, “I will follow you, Lord but first let me go back and say good-bye to my family.” Jesus replied, “No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God” [Luke 9:59-62].
It seems that being about the Father’s business often makes it impossible and even unnecessary to fulfill the world’s standards!
Keeping all this in mind, let’s consider the Biblical image of honoring our parents and how we are to respond to “negative family relationships” next Thursday.
Whole-Heartedly,
Bonnie
Thursday, April 22, 2010
SPIRITUALITY - DYING FOR JESUS
Although I was too young to recall, Momma enjoys recounting this story about me:
I was about 4 when I came running into the kitchen excitedly announcing, “Mommy, I want to die!” Shocked by my declaration and bewildered by my excitement about it, she responded, “Bonnie Joann, why on earth would you say a thing like that?” “Well, don’t I have to die in order to be with Jesus,” I questioned. “Weeell, yeees,” she responded hesitantly. “Then, I want to die,” I proclaimed. “Don’t you want to be with Jesus, Mommy? I queried. “Sure, I do,” she replied. “Well, then don’t you want to die?” I continued to question. “Well, I don’t think God is done with me quite yet. There are things He wants for me to do before I die.” Displeased with her answer, I exited the room determinedly exclaiming, “Well, I want to be with Jesus. So, I want to die now!”
Momma stood in silence, bewildered by my lack of fear of death and my intent to be with Jesus.
I have since learned that physical death is not necessary to enjoy the presence of Jesus. Paul warned the Romans [8:13], “If you live in accordance with the natural realm, you are destined to die, but if you put the actions of the body to death by the Spirit, you will live.”
Jesus said to His disciples, “If anyone wishes to follow me, that person will have to utterly deny themselves, and take up their cross and follow me. The person who wants to preserve their life will lose it, but whoever lets go of their life for my sake will find it.” [Matthew 16:24-25].
We cannot enjoy the blessings of the Spirit’s presence
unless
we are willing to cease making self
the object of our lives and actions.
“Taking up one’s cross” is a willingness to die to all selfish:
• ambitions to rise above others
• behaviors to get what we want when we want it
• attitudes of caring only for our own interests
• desires to put our personal needs before those of others.
Deny means, “Don’t feed it!” We must starve our prideful nature which is often manifested in addictions: food, work, spending, entertainment, gossiping, lying, people-pleasing, sex and more.
All of these may bring temporary satisfaction. However, “What good will it do someone if they gain the whole world and lose their own life? What will a person give in exchange for their very life?” [Matthew 16:26] Is another evening of masturbation worth forfeiting your eternal life? What about another piece of cake or video game? The only power that temptation has is our longing to say “Yes” to our selfish desires. In doing so, we are saying “No” to Jesus.
Many fear that God wants to “ruin all our fun.” However, it isn’t our enjoyment that He aspires to destroy. He’s determined to demolish our pride.
He desires that we enjoy the freedom true life brings:
• enjoying intimacy with His Body, the Church.
• hearing His voice
• sensing His presence
• seeing Him work in and through us
• having insight into His will and the strength to do it
Saying that we believe in Jesus is not enough. Jesus says, “anyone who does not take up His cross and follow me is not worthy of me.” [Matthew 10:38] Yet, overcoming selfish ambitions is not easy! Where do we find such strength? Jesus set the example for us when He said, “Not My will, but Yours be done.” Desiring the Father’s will more than our own is the only way to enjoy the Whole-Hearted Life which He has prepared for us and … it is the only way to life with Jesus for eternity.
Living for Jesus, wherever I am,
Doing each duty in His holy Name;
Willing to suffer affliction and loss,
Deeming each trial a part of my cross.
O Jesus, Lord and Savior, I give myself to Thee,
For Thou, in Thy atonement, didst give Thyself for me.
I own no other Master, my heart shall be Thy throne.
My life I give, henceforth to live, O Christ, for Thee alone.- Thomas O. Chisholm
My heart hasn’t changed much since I was four. My greatest desire is still to be with Jesus! Yet … I must pray daily that my prideful, selfish flesh will be crucified in order that I might know Him with my whole heart. Even today, “I want to die now!”
Whole-Heartedly,
Bonnie
I was about 4 when I came running into the kitchen excitedly announcing, “Mommy, I want to die!” Shocked by my declaration and bewildered by my excitement about it, she responded, “Bonnie Joann, why on earth would you say a thing like that?” “Well, don’t I have to die in order to be with Jesus,” I questioned. “Weeell, yeees,” she responded hesitantly. “Then, I want to die,” I proclaimed. “Don’t you want to be with Jesus, Mommy? I queried. “Sure, I do,” she replied. “Well, then don’t you want to die?” I continued to question. “Well, I don’t think God is done with me quite yet. There are things He wants for me to do before I die.” Displeased with her answer, I exited the room determinedly exclaiming, “Well, I want to be with Jesus. So, I want to die now!”
Momma stood in silence, bewildered by my lack of fear of death and my intent to be with Jesus.
I have since learned that physical death is not necessary to enjoy the presence of Jesus. Paul warned the Romans [8:13], “If you live in accordance with the natural realm, you are destined to die, but if you put the actions of the body to death by the Spirit, you will live.”
Jesus said to His disciples, “If anyone wishes to follow me, that person will have to utterly deny themselves, and take up their cross and follow me. The person who wants to preserve their life will lose it, but whoever lets go of their life for my sake will find it.” [Matthew 16:24-25].
We cannot enjoy the blessings of the Spirit’s presence
unless
we are willing to cease making self
the object of our lives and actions.
“Taking up one’s cross” is a willingness to die to all selfish:
• ambitions to rise above others
• behaviors to get what we want when we want it
• attitudes of caring only for our own interests
• desires to put our personal needs before those of others.
Deny means, “Don’t feed it!” We must starve our prideful nature which is often manifested in addictions: food, work, spending, entertainment, gossiping, lying, people-pleasing, sex and more.
All of these may bring temporary satisfaction. However, “What good will it do someone if they gain the whole world and lose their own life? What will a person give in exchange for their very life?” [Matthew 16:26] Is another evening of masturbation worth forfeiting your eternal life? What about another piece of cake or video game? The only power that temptation has is our longing to say “Yes” to our selfish desires. In doing so, we are saying “No” to Jesus.
Many fear that God wants to “ruin all our fun.” However, it isn’t our enjoyment that He aspires to destroy. He’s determined to demolish our pride.
He desires that we enjoy the freedom true life brings:
• enjoying intimacy with His Body, the Church.
• hearing His voice
• sensing His presence
• seeing Him work in and through us
• having insight into His will and the strength to do it
Saying that we believe in Jesus is not enough. Jesus says, “anyone who does not take up His cross and follow me is not worthy of me.” [Matthew 10:38] Yet, overcoming selfish ambitions is not easy! Where do we find such strength? Jesus set the example for us when He said, “Not My will, but Yours be done.” Desiring the Father’s will more than our own is the only way to enjoy the Whole-Hearted Life which He has prepared for us and … it is the only way to life with Jesus for eternity.
Living for Jesus, wherever I am,
Doing each duty in His holy Name;
Willing to suffer affliction and loss,
Deeming each trial a part of my cross.
O Jesus, Lord and Savior, I give myself to Thee,
For Thou, in Thy atonement, didst give Thyself for me.
I own no other Master, my heart shall be Thy throne.
My life I give, henceforth to live, O Christ, for Thee alone.- Thomas O. Chisholm
My heart hasn’t changed much since I was four. My greatest desire is still to be with Jesus! Yet … I must pray daily that my prideful, selfish flesh will be crucified in order that I might know Him with my whole heart. Even today, “I want to die now!”
Whole-Heartedly,
Bonnie
Sunday, April 18, 2010
SPIRITUALITY - THE FAMILY TREE
My mother-in-law used to have a family tree plaque hanging on her dining-room wall. Wood- carved acorns representing each family member hung on its branches. When her son divorced, his ex-wife’s acorn was mischievously placed “on the ground” at the base of the tree. The family jokingly explained, “She fell from the family tree.”
Have you done something that makes you feel as though you aren’t good enough to hang from the same tree as the rest of your family? Maybe you have family members who seem to suck the life from your family tree. More importantly, do you fear that you’ve fallen from the family tree of God?
Growing up, I was so ashamed of my family name that I didn’t want to hang from the same tree! I’ve spent even more years, experiencing shame from my own decisions! Yet, I’ve come to realize that even Jesus’ family tree was “less-than-perfect.” It only requires a peak into His life story to discover that Jesus’ genealogy reveals a lot of “fallen acorns.” Regardless, Jesus doesn’t shake to the ground the worm-infested relatives whom He chose or try to hide them from the world. Instead, He hangs them, even with their rotted imperfections, right where we can all see them!
Why? With all their “damaged fruit,” Jesus wants His people to know that He’s not ashamed of them. He is not bewildered by their actions nor do their family “secrets” trouble Him. In fact, “He is not ashamed to call them his brothers and sisters” (Hebrews 2:11).
Whole-Heartedly,
Bonnie
Have you done something that makes you feel as though you aren’t good enough to hang from the same tree as the rest of your family? Maybe you have family members who seem to suck the life from your family tree. More importantly, do you fear that you’ve fallen from the family tree of God?
Growing up, I was so ashamed of my family name that I didn’t want to hang from the same tree! I’ve spent even more years, experiencing shame from my own decisions! Yet, I’ve come to realize that even Jesus’ family tree was “less-than-perfect.” It only requires a peak into His life story to discover that Jesus’ genealogy reveals a lot of “fallen acorns.” Regardless, Jesus doesn’t shake to the ground the worm-infested relatives whom He chose or try to hide them from the world. Instead, He hangs them, even with their rotted imperfections, right where we can all see them!
Why? With all their “damaged fruit,” Jesus wants His people to know that He’s not ashamed of them. He is not bewildered by their actions nor do their family “secrets” trouble Him. In fact, “He is not ashamed to call them his brothers and sisters” (Hebrews 2:11).
Whole-Heartedly,
Bonnie
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