Marigold Meadows on the Spoon River Valley Scenic Drive

The first two full weekends in October is the anniversary of the Spoon River Valley Scenic Drive. This festival “celebrates the history of the people, land and river at the heart” of Fulton County, Illinois where I was raised and has drawn tens of thousands of people each year.
In 1915, Edgar Lee Masters published his Spoon River Anthology, which would eventually introduce the region to a worldwide audience. Masters, the observer, poet, author, and attorney, grew up in Spoon River County during the 1890s, experiencing the beauty of its hills and valleys and the ironies of the small-town folks. The Spoon River Valley Scenic Drive traverses this landscape that Masters knew winding amid both subtle scenery and the occasional spectacular views.

The annual event attracts visitors from all over the world for fall scenery, arts, crafts, music, food, produce, historic sites, museums, old-time farming, collectibles, antiques, and dramatic readings from Masters’ Anthology. – Fulton County, Illinois Visitor’s Guide (www.spoonriverdrive.org and info@spoonriverdrive.org)

　

Noted for Art Jones’ demonstrations of old-time farming with draft horses, a working sawmill, home of common and not so common barnyard animals, and Marcia Jones’ lip-smackin’, poppin’ fresh pies cooked in a wood burning oven, Marigold Meadows is one of the “hot spots” on the Scenic Drive. Fulton County has always been in my blood, but Marigold Meadows is the place where Gary and I now call home. Having recently purchased Marigold Meadows, we’re even more excited about the Scenic Drive than ever before!

This year, on October 6 & 7, 13 & 14^th, shimmering fall colors will once again be the back-drop for:
· multiple teams of mighty draft horses harvesting fields and working the ground for next year’s crops.
· a sawmill abuzz preparing lumber for future buildings.
· kittens and cows, goats and pigs, chickens, peacocks and more showing off their barnyard home.
· a new addition to the farm this year, blacksmiths will be fanning the flames necessary to forge iron for farm equipment repairs and household needs.
· farmhands demonstrating their skills: Spinning, weaving, and candlestick makers are a few of the possibilities.

Marigold Meadows is a busy, yet enjoyable place to be.

You may even have the chance to drive a horse,

ride a horse drawn wagon, hand-pick corn, spin some wool and more!

It’s not easy for me to choose a favorite activity on the farm. For me, working the horses is just as rewarding as baking a pie. Speaking of pies and favorite activities… I’ve heard it said by many visitors that delighting in the results of the enticing aroma wafting from the log cabin is hard to beat! Can you imagine baking 80 fruits pies in a wood burning oven in one day? It happens at Marigold Meadows and we would come near to bettin’ ya that Marcia’s results can’t be matched for miles around! We double dare ya to come for a bite or two and taste for yourself!

It doesn’t get much better than sitting around a campfire with family and friends on a cool autumn night listening to knee slappin’ music. That’s what we do Saturday evenings on the farm and we’d love to have you join us!

Some people refer to their trip to Marigold Meadows as “stepping back in time;” we call it “living the Whole-Hearted Life today!”

You can find more information about, a map to Marigold Meadows and read more about living the whole-hearted life at www.whole-heartedlife.blogspot.com. You may also contact us at whole-heartedlife@gmail.com.

If you’d like more hands-on experience driving horses, planting gardens, canning, making soap, etc, we’re making plans to offer classes, as well as opportunities for you to come stay a spell for extended learning. We’d love to hear from you if you have an interest in teaching, learning or reminiscing about living the Whole-Hearted Life.

Whole-Heartedly,

Bonnie

P.S. Please feel free to contact me with questions, thoughts, topics you’d like to ponder or to read past articles at: http://whole-heartedlife.blogspot.com/. You may also contact me at:

Bonnie Jaeckle

In Search of the Whole-Hearted Life

Diagonal Progress

505 Jefferson St.

Diagonal, IA 50845

　

Counting the Cost

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Our filly, Wonder will soon be 5 months old. In order to wean her, I moved her out of the barnyard which she shared with her momma, Nettie and “step-papa”, Ponyo. As I closed the gate behind us, Nettie and Ponyo became very agitated and began to whinny. Regardless, Wonder responded to my command to walk away. In order to get to the other barn, Wonder and I walked about a third of a mile. She occasionally hesitated a bit and whinnied, but never resisted my leading. If I were in her shoes, I’d have been thinking:

I really like this place; why do I have to leave it?

Where are you taking me?

Why do I have to leave my loved ones behind?

What will this new place be like?

Will I have what I need?

What will I do there?

Will there be anyone whom I know?

Will I be all alone?

As Wonder and I made our way through the field, I was amazed that she was so responsive to my commands and receptive of my reassurance. Considering Wonder’s astonishing trust, I began to ponder the cost of following Jesus and questioned if I have nearly the faith in my Master that Wonder seems to have in me.

As they were walking along the road, a man said to Him, “I will follow you wherever you go.” Jesus replied, “Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay His head.” He said to another man, “Follow me.” But the man replied, “Lord first let me go and bury my father.” Jesus said to him, “Let the dead bury their own dead, but you go and proclaim the kingdom of God.” Still another said, “I will follow you, Lord; but first let me go back and say good-by to my family.” Jesus replied, “No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God” (Luke 9:57-62).

The cost of following Jesus is always “pricey”.

Walking away from what feels safe and familiar is never easy.

Leaving behind those whom you love is often gut wrenching.

Stepping into an unfamiliar world can feel like one of the most risky things that we’re ever called to do.

Yet, we are commanded, Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9

Keeping our eyes fixed on Jesus is a challenge, especially when we are experiencing major transitions in life. As we make the necessary adjustments, it seems that we are more prone to getting distracted and off on the wrong path. Proverbs 4:25-27 warns,

Let your eyes look straight ahead, fix your gaze directly before you.

Make level paths for your feet and take only ways that are firm.

Do not swerve to the right or the left; keep your foot from evil.

As uncertain as Wonder must have been, I marveled at the fact that she never looked back, balked nor attempted to dart off in a different direction. It was as if she knew that my intentions were not to jeopardize her, but were for her wellbeing. Just as my familiar voice and gentle words reassured Wonder, as I go through the necessary physical and emotional changes which commonly accompany a major life change, I must keep in mind that my heavenly Father has a panoramic view of my future that I don’t have:

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

In our humanness there are always “what ifs”:

What if I’ve taken the wrong turn?

What if I move to fast or too slow?

What if I miss what God has in mind for me?

We can be assured, however, Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.” Isaiah 30:21

Whole-Heartedly,

Bonnie

P.S. Please feel free to contact me with questions, thoughts, topics you’d like to ponder or to read past articles at: http://whole-heartedlife.blogspot.com/. You may also contact me at:

Bonnie Jaeckle

In Search of the Whole-Hearted Life

Diagonal Progress

505 Jefferson St.

Diagonal, IA 50845

The Move of God

 

The whole idea behind this column is to write about what God is teaching me regarding The Whole-Hearted Life. As Gary & I have sought to understand and personally live this out, through the last number of years, God has been leading us into a deeper understanding of Whole-Hearted Living within a community of believers. In the last year or two, He has guided us into several situations which seemed to be opportunities to live in such a setting; yet each time He seemed to close the door shortly after He opened it. Not understanding, we were hurt, confused and disappointed. I have to admit that after this happened a time or two we were also even a little embarrassed that we had shared our excitement with others only to learn that it wasn’t unfolding the way in which we had anticipated. In time, the Lord revealed that whenever He opened a door, He was using the anticipation to prepare us for what would come… down the road. It was like He was saying to us, “Oh, I was just checking”; yet, each open door led us to ask a lot of questions and deep soul searching:

Are we truly ready for this?

Are we willing to relocate, if necessary?

Are we able and willing to accept others where they are?

Are we willing to adjust from being quite isolated to being surrounded by others daily?

Are we willing to consider all that He has provided for us as provision for others, as well?

The process of wrestling through it each time was being used to build a necessary foundation within our hearts for His future plans. Once we realized this, we were no longer embarrassed by what seemed to be wishy-washiness on our part. In fact, any time someone questioned us with, “I thought you were planning to ….,” we came to a point of responding, “We thought so too, but evidently God was “just checking” again. While our hearts ached for fellowship with like-minded people, finally we were resting and waiting for Him while accepting whatever He set before us as “ground work”.

As most of us know, life is full and busy which causes us to lose touch with people we’ve known though the years, including family. This was true for me and my brother, Art who is 10 years older than I. Over the last year or so, however, Art and I have had more opportunities to visit and become reacquainted as adults. We’ve learned that we have a great deal in common regarding our spiritual beliefs, institutionalized “Church”, governmental regime, approach to health, living simply and off the land, love for music, etc. With each conversation, our hearts have been drawn closer to one another, coming to a point that a day doesn’t seem complete without touching base. We began to talk about how much fun and helpful it would be if we lived closer to one another. Art and his wife, Marcia have plenty of experience living off the land and we knew that if we could pool our time, energy and resources to work along side of one another, it would be helpful to all of us. The more we talked and prayed about it, the more it seemed obvious that God had been planning this all along. I would have never imagined that this was what He had in mind.

The four of us began to look for property near to Art & Marcia’s farm. While there were acreages available, none close enough for conveniently working together daily. One day, when Art called, I answered the phone jokingly saying, “I know, you have found the perfect property for us!” He responded, “Yep and it is right here!” He was standing on 12.5 acres on the backside of his farm. He shared that he was planning to sell this property in three more years, but felt strongly that the Lord was saying, “The time is now!” He also shared that through the years as he spent hours clearing the land, building the buildings etc. that he really didn’t know why he felt so driven about doing it. He “just knew” that he was supposed to set other things aside in order to get it done. Before we hung up he said, “I can’t imagine having any body better than the two of you living back there. Please pray about it.” To Gary & me the answer came quickly, “This is what I’ve been preparing you for.”

The move of God never ceases to amaze me!

We are excited about entering into this new chapter of our lives at Marigold Acres in Lewistown, IL. I’m sure that many of my future articles will come out of what God is teaching us here. I hope you stay tuned to hear about how He continues to move in our lives.

Whole-Heartedly,

Bonnie

P.S. Please feel free to contact me with questions, thoughts, topics you’d like to ponder or to read past articles at: http://whole-heartedlife.blogspot.com/. You may also contact me at:

Bonnie Jaeckle

In Search of the Whole-Hearted Life

Diagonal Progress

505 Jefferson St.

Diagonal, IA 50845

The Dysfunctional Family Wheel – Part 4 Find Healing for Addiction While Helping Your Spouse Adjust

Over the last three weeks I’ve written about how the spouse is affected when an addict begins to find healing. It is also necessary to address how the addict can continue to find healing while helping the spouse adjust to the frightening changes? I’m going to list-out some necessary steps for the addict to take, however I’m not suggesting a cookie cutter plan that guarantees specific results. Taking these steps is not to be for the purpose of manipulating the spouse, rather to help the addict recognize what is necessary for his/her own healing and to create an environment that is most conducive to the healing of the spouse. In doing so, it is necessary that the addict:

• Ask for forgiveness for all the ways in which the addiction has affected the life of the family.
  • It doesn’t really matter how the spouse responds, what’s important is that the addict humbly verbalizes the recognized impact of his/her behavior.
  • Asking for forgiveness also requires a response, placing the spouse in a position to consider whether or he/she is ready/willing to forgive. The addict needs to be prepared to understandingly accept that the spouse may not be ready.
• Affirm that

It is impossible to live with an addicted person and not be affected,

but it is very possible, with God's help,

to live with an addict and not be controlled by his/her addiction.

Explain that his/her desire is to help the spouse come to this point of freedom.

• Help the spouse to recognize that the time, energy and resources that he/she has spent trying to change and protect the addict has not worked, therefore changes are necessary.
• Point out to the spouse that rescuing prolongs the inevitable. Giving specific examples, the addict needs to help the spouse to see that even though it may feel unloving, it is absolutely necessary for the recovery of the entire family for the spouse to stop rescuing:
  • “If I miss work, do not call-in for me. I realize that this may be difficult because we all suffer the consequences if I lose my job, but accountability for my choices it is necessary for my recovery.”
  • “Please do not continue to lie to people about my behavior. If I’m in bed drunk, I need for you to be honest about my true condition.”
  • “If I request money to purchase alcohol, I need for you to deny my request.”
• Explain how important it is to sobriety that an addict remains committed to meetings, sponsorship relationships etc., yet, assure the spouse that he/she is loved and that time with him/her is necessary. Jointly determine a time together that can best be worked into the schedule.
• While open and honest dialogue is essential and can be necessarily painful, it often leads to disagreements, arguing, digging-up old circumstances and blaming. Make a commitment to not fall into this trap, but to remain available for loving, constructive conversations even when it hurts.
• Describe the deep guilt that he/she already feels and help the spouse understand that heaping more guilt upon him/her does not help, but is emotionally and spiritually debilitating. Help the spouse to realize that maintaining a focus on redeeming virtues would be far more helpful than the paralyzing guilt!

Don’t wait for your spouse to change in order to move ahead in your healing.

God seems to use the healing of one person to begin the process in another.

As you make changes in how you approach your addiction, it forces your spouse to begin to re-evaluate and make changes in his/her approach. Don’t assume that this means that your spouse will choose to seek healing, he/she may not. You can’t control the outcome. As difficult as it may be to accept, your only responsibility is to stay focused on what God has for you and leave His plan for your spouse up to Him. He is sovereign and His plan and timing is perfect for both of you!

Whole-Heartedly,

Bonnie

P.S. Please feel free to contact me with questions, thoughts, topics you’d like to ponder or to read past articles at: http://whole-heartedlife.blogspot.com/. You may also contact me at:

Bonnie Jaeckle

In Search of the Whole-Hearted Life

Diagonal Progress

505 Jefferson St.

Diagonal, IA 50845

The Dysfunctional Family Wheel – Part 3 - Detaching From the Addict

Over the last two weeks I've been writing about addiction and the affect that healing has on the addict and his/her spouse.  Today I would like to explain the need for the spouse to learn to detach from the addict.  While the Bible teaches, "For in Him we live and move and exist” (Acts 17:28), the spouse has learned to live and move and have his/her being in the addict rather than in God.  This is idolatry and is no less sinful than the addict’s behavior!

Learning to live a life not centered on the addict sets both parties free to be responsible for their own behavior.  However, detachment is not an easy task.  One of the strongest, but subconscious reasons for attachment is that preoccupation with the addict’s behavior takes the spouse’s focus off of his/her own unhealthiness.  The spouse has been blaming the addict for years for his/her unhappiness because it is easier than blaming himself/herself.  Evaluating our own hearts feels too risky, consequently we tend to do anything to avoid it, including focusing on someone else’s issues rather than our own!

Detachment does not mean giving-up on or abandoning the addict, rather it means recognizing their behavior is not our responsibility nor is true happiness found in them, but in God.

Our focus must become centered on our relationship with God 

rather than the addict and their behavior.

I’m reminded of a wife who came to the place of being thankful for her husband’s addiction because she recognized that God had used it to expose her unhealthy heart and to draw her to Himself.  Where does one begin to make such a transition?

Although it may not be his/her intention, the spouse is attempting to play God when he/she tries to control people and circumstances.  His/her subconscious goal is to create relationships and an environment in which he/she feels safe, however we must submit to the reality that we are not truly able to control anyone or any situation.  The first step toward detachment is coming to the realization that God is sovereign over all things and people.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.

In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight"

(Proverbs 3:5, 6).

The spouse tends to be in denial regarding his/her own problems.  He/she typically fails to recognize that his/her actions and reactions to the addict are not only unhelpful, but feed into the addict’s behavior.  The next step in detachment is to acknowledge the reality of his/her own unhealthiness and admit his/her part in the addictive cycle.

"If we say that we have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves, and the truth is not in us.

If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins 

and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

If we say that we have not sinned, we make Him a liar, and His Word is not in us"

(1 John 1:8-10).

Facing what we truly are is frightening!  We fear facing our own unresolved issues.  We fear that showing our true self will result in others; especially the addict, rejecting us.  While we long for intimacy, we fear allowing anyone to get too close.  If we are convinced of God’s love for us, however we are free to love others unconditionally and to allow them to love us, just as we are.

"For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, 

shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord"

(Romans 8:38, 39).

Being certain of God’s love for us, and our inability to control anyone or anything, we are ready and willing to seek God’s wisdom and guidance.  In doing so, our focus is taken off the addict and placed on our personal unhealthiness and on the only One who can transform us.  At this point we have transitioned from idolatry into worship of the One true God!  Genuine and lasting healing will not take place until this transition is made!

Whole-Heartedly,
Bonnie

P.S.  Please feel free to contact me with questions, thoughts, topics you’d like to ponder or to read past articles at: http://whole-heartedlife.blogspot.com/.  You may also contact me at:
             Bonnie Jaeckle
             In Search of the Whole-Hearted Life
             Diagonal Progress
             505 Jefferson St.
             Diagonal, IA 50845

The Dysfunctional Family Wheel – Part 3 - Detaching From the Addict

Over the last two weeks I've been writing about addiction and the affect that healing has on the addict and his/her spouse.  Today I would like to explain the need for the spouse to learn to detach from the addict.  While the Bible teaches, "For in Him we live and move and exist” (Acts 17:28), the spouse has learned to live and move and have his/her being in the addict rather than in God.  This is idolatry and is no less sinful than the addict’s behavior!

Learning to live a life not centered on the addict sets both parties free to be responsible for their own behavior.  However, detachment is not an easy task.  One of the strongest, but subconscious reasons for attachment is that preoccupation with the addict’s behavior takes the spouse’s focus off of his/her own unhealthiness.  The spouse has been blaming the addict for years for his/her unhappiness because it is easier than blaming himself/herself.  Evaluating our own hearts feels too risky, consequently we tend to do anything to avoid it, including focusing on someone else’s issues rather than our own!

Detachment does not mean giving-up on or abandoning the addict, rather it means recognizing their behavior is not our responsibility nor is true happiness found in them, but in God.

Our focus must become centered on our relationship with God 

rather than the addict and their behavior.

I’m reminded of a wife who came to the place of being thankful for her husband’s addiction because she recognized that God had used it to expose her unhealthy heart and to draw her to Himself.  Where does one begin to make such a transition?

Although it may not be his/her intention, the spouse is attempting to play God when he/she tries to control people and circumstances.  His/her subconscious goal is to create relationships and an environment in which he/she feels safe, however we must submit to the reality that we are not truly able to control anyone or any situation.  The first step toward detachment is coming to the realization that God is sovereign over all things and people.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.

In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight"

(Proverbs 3:5, 6).

The spouse tends to be in denial regarding his/her own problems.  He/she typically fails to recognize that his/her actions and reactions to the addict are not only unhelpful, but feed into the addict’s behavior.  The next step in detachment is to acknowledge the reality of his/her own unhealthiness and admit his/her part in the addictive cycle.

"If we say that we have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves, and the truth is not in us.

If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins 

and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

If we say that we have not sinned, we make Him a liar, and His Word is not in us"

(1 John 1:8-10).

Facing what we truly are is frightening!  We fear facing our own unresolved issues.  We fear that showing our true self will result in others; especially the addict, rejecting us.  While we long for intimacy, we fear allowing anyone to get too close.  If we are convinced of God’s love for us, however we are free to love others unconditionally and to allow them to love us, just as we are.

"For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, 

shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord"

(Romans 8:38, 39).

Being certain of God’s love for us, and our inability to control anyone or anything, we are ready and willing to seek God’s wisdom and guidance.  In doing so, our focus is taken off the addict and placed on our personal unhealthiness and on the only One who can transform us.  At this point we have transitioned from idolatry into worship of the One true God!  Genuine and lasting healing will not take place until this transition is made!

Whole-Heartedly,
Bonnie

P.S.  Please feel free to contact me with questions, thoughts, topics you’d like to ponder or to read past articles at: http://whole-heartedlife.blogspot.com/.  You may also contact me at:
             Bonnie Jaeckle
             In Search of the Whole-Hearted Life
             Diagonal Progress
             505 Jefferson St.
             Diagonal, IA 50845

The Dysfunctional Family Wheel – Part 2 There Is Hope

Last week I shared a brief description of a wife who struggles with the changes as her husband turns his back on former addictive behavior.  I also offered some insights about the various roles within the dysfunctional family wheel.  This week I would like to focus on what happens within a marriage when one begins to heal.  First it is important to understand that there is nothing further from the truth than the expectation that everything will simply fall into place if the addiction would only stop.  While the outside world may view the addict as the “sick one in the family,” my typical response to that is, “unhealthy hearts don’t attracted healthy hearts”!  Although it may manifest in varying ways, the spouse is usually no more healthy than the addict, and the contaminated yeast spreads throughout the entire family.  There is more than the visible addictive behavior that needs to change!

Typically the spouse has played the martyr for years, complaining about the addict’s behavior; however when the addict begins to show interest in being more responsible and helpful, the spouse often resents the addict for “butting into” the world that the spouse has controlled “just fine” alone.  Recovering addicts often feel as though they don’t fit in, are not needed and can’t do anything right.  While it is false security, spouses typically feel safer having the addict dependent upon them and are intimidated by their new independence.  Recovering addicts feel that they were more acceptable to the spouse before they began to seek healing and fight the temptation to return to old patterns of coping.

During the early stages of recovery, the addict’s focus is on healing; leading to limited time for family.  In fact, it often seems that one addiction is replaced with another, i.e. from drugs to Bible study and/or recovery meetings.  In an effort to “stay clean,” the addict often separates from compromising relationships and begins to develop relationships with those who are supportive of healing; consequently it’s not uncommon for the spouse to still feel neglected.  They are both either afraid to talk about their feelings for fear that it will only lead to a relapse or the spouse doesn’t mince any words hoping to shame the addict into returning to his/her “normal’ self.  They both begin to wonder if they have anything in common any longer and the addict often feels as though he/she has grown beyond his/her spouse.

Is there any hope?

Addicts are often drowning in guilt; however their spouses have more difficulty recognizing that they too have fed into the unhealthy cycle.  Without conviction that the damage done in the family is just as much their responsibility as that of the addict, there is little hope for marital healing.  Once conviction has settled deep into the heart of those who are trapped in the unhealthy cycle, they must find hope that change can take place.  Without hope there will never be any sustaining action toward healing.

As inconceivable as it may seem, there is hope!  I have seen the redemptive power of God manifest itself in marriages that appeared to be all but dead when humble and contrite hearts place their lives in the hands of God.  I have witnessed the devastation of addiction, restored not to the original unhealthy relationship, but used to build stronger more Christ-like marriages beyond anything the couple ever imagined.

Don’t give up!  Stay-tuned for next week’s article on the process of recovery.

Whole-Heartedly,

Bonnie

P.S.  Please feel free to contact me with questions, thoughts, topics you’d like to ponder or to read past articles at: http://whole-heartedlife.blogspot.com/.  You may also contact me at: 

             Bonnie Jaeckle

             In Search of the Whole-Hearted Life

             Diagonal Progress

             505 Jefferson St.

             Diagonal, IA 50845