HEY, LADY!

A number of years ago, I had the privilege of having my cousin, Missie live with me for a short period.  During that time, she was the “right-hand man” in my Medical-Legal Consulting business.  Not only did our strengths and weaknesses compliment one another as working partners, we had a lot of fun in the process!  It wasn't unusual for one or the other of us to break the tension of what could often be an intense undertaking with some kind of shenanigan.

While traveling together one day, we stopped to use the restroom.  At the rest area, we waited in line for our turn.  Two stalls opened up simultaneously and we took our respective positions.  The day was likely a stress-filled one and I concluded that it would do us both some good if we had something to laugh about, so... after I finished my task, I stood on the toilet seat, hung over the stall wall and said, “Hey, Lady!”  Much to my chagrin, it was not my cousin in the stall next to me!

While the poor victim of my unruly humor grabbed her knees and threw herself across her lap in an effort to protect her personal privacy, my cousin nearly fell off her throne laughing in the next stall over!

Obviously, I do not always prayerfully consider all things when making decisions; instead, I sometimes rely on my own senses!

I now had a new decision to make that would affect both me and this frightened lady:

• Should I hang out here over the stall trying to explain and offer an apology?
• She’d likely not appreciate that!
• Should I try to sneak out of the restroom, hoping that she doesn’t come out and greet me eye to eye?
• I was so befuddled that I wasn’t sure that I was ready for that!
• Should I slide down to the toilet and quietly sit there until she leaves?
• Right or wrong, on the spur of an embarrassing moment, I concluded that this was the best option for both of us!

When we find ourselves in an uncomfortable situation, isn’t it common for us to shoot from the hip rather than taking time to consider our best option?  More times than not the best policy is to sit quietly and pray,

Trust in the Lord with all your heart

And do not lean on your own understanding.

In all your ways acknowledge Him,

And He will make your paths straight.

Do not be wise in your own eyes…

Proverbs 3:7a

I was reminded in this situation that my fleshly understanding is not trustworthy.  Isn’t it ironic what circumstances God chooses to use to reiterate that our focus always needs to be on the Him and His ways?  Would I be remiss, however, to admit that I would have loved to have been a little mouse listening as the victim of the scene recounted this story to her family and friends?

Whole-Heartedly,

Bonnie

P.S.  Please feel free to contact me with questions, thoughts, topics you’d like to ponder or to read past articles at: http://whole-heartedlife.blogspot.com/.  You may also contact me at:

             Bonnie Jaeckle

             In Search of the Whole-Hearted Life

             Diagonal Progress

             505 Jefferson St.

             Diagonal, IA 50845

What Measuring Stick Are You Using?

A number of years ago, Gary and I counseled a couple who, after thirty plus years, were struggling in their marriage.  The husband was a very patriarchal sort and the wife was becoming a bit too independent and “sassy” for his comfort.

It didn’t take long to discover that this man was not only verbally and emotionally abusive to his wife; he was physically and sexually abusive, as well.  While he believed that he was simply fulfilling his God-given role, his wife and children were afraid of him.  Even his large frame, towering stature and domineering demeanor were quite intimidating.

Having been raised in a very male-oriented religious environment, this fella wasn’t too excited about having anyone tell him how he ought to function, especially a woman.  Consequently, in the initial days of our counseling them, I was very careful to not cross that line.  I didn’t want to lose the opportunity to help them by moving across his comfort zone too quickly.

We had been counseling this couple for a few months when the husband made this comment, “Well, at least I treat her better than my dad treated my mom.”  I knew in my heart what I needed to say, but was hesitant because I knew it would make him angry.  The Lord prompted me, “Say it now.”  I swallowed hard, looked “goliath” in the eyes and said, “Your measuring stick is wrong.”  He glared at me and retorted, “What do you mean by that?”  I responded, “Jesus Christ should be your measuring stick for how to treat your wife, not your dad.”  His eyes moved away from mine in silence.

It isn’t uncommon for us to use others as our point of reference for how we approach life,

“At least I’ve never done that!”

“I wish I could be more like her.”

That’s the way my parents and grandparents always did it.”

The reality is…

We are all imitating someone.

No one is an originator!

However, God’s Word warns us to be careful of whom we imitate; Dear friend, do not imitate what is evil but what is good. Anyone who does what is good is from God. Anyone who does what is evil has not seen God (3 John 1:11).

We are to be imitators of God as dear children.  And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us…(Ephesians 5:1-2).

What measuring stick are you using?

Whole-Heartedly,

Bonnie

P.S.  Please feel free to contact me with questions, thoughts, topics you’d like to ponder or to read past articles at: http://whole-heartedlife.blogspot.com/.  You may also contact me at:

             Bonnie Jaeckle

             In Search of the Whole-Hearted Life

             Diagonal Progress

             505 Jefferson St.

             Diagonal, IA 50845

Move Right On Over, Lord!

 A few weeks ago, we were at my brother, Art’s helping to prepare some land for a new building.  Art needed me to follow him and Gary, who were taking the bulldozer to the construction site.  I proceeded to get into Art’s truck and was about ready to pull out when Art motioned from the dozer asking if I would bring his dog, Pearl with me.  I was delighted to have the opportunity for the ol’ red hound dog to ride along.

In order to reach the handle on the passenger’s door, I slid over onto the console, opened the door and called for Pearl.  She was so excited to be asked that she jumped right past me and plopped herself in front of the steering wheel!  What a scene!  Pearl is full of excitement, I’m stunned and Art is laughing!

How many times has the Lord asked me to do something and I’ve gotten so excited about the opportunity that I jumped ahead of Him and positioned myself in the “driver’s seat” ready to lead the way?  I can guarantee ya that I became an “expert” driver through the years, or so I thought.  My responses to His requests were typically something like this,

“Now that I understand what You want me to do, move right on over, Lord!

Don’t You worry Yourself any.

I can show You how to get there,

when we can expect to arrive

and

exactly who’s coming along for the ride!”

You would have thought that I’d have learned a valuable lesson the first time that I ended up on a “dead-end” road using this approach.  But, Nooo!  Not this girl!  Given any assignment, I was on it like ants on honey leaving God and those who were supposed to be along for the ride in the dust!  Being as determined and independent as I’ve been through the years, God had His work cut out for Him and I was in for a big surprise!

In order to help Pearl understand what I needed for her to do, I got out of the truck… on the passenger’s side, went around to and opened the door on the driver’s side and gently said, “Move over Pearl.”  Without hesitation she obeyed my command and, without further delays or obstacles, we were soon at our destination.  Unlike Pearl, I didn’t always move over quite so easily.  I was so determined to be faithful in fulfilling the assignment that I couldn’t even hear Father’ s voice when He told me it was time to pull over and let Him do the driving!

It wasn’t until I completely ran out of gas while driving for far too long on the same ol’ road that I took my hands off of the wheel and admitted, “Jesus, You’re gonna have to drive.  I’m not sure where I am.  Everyone else has bailed out and I have no idea how to get back home.”

I don’t ever want to be on that road again!  Thanks for the reminder, Pearl!

Whole-Heartedly,

Bonnie

P.S.  Please feel free to contact me with questions, thoughts, topics you’d like to ponder or to read past articles at: http://whole-heartedlife.blogspot.com/.  You may also contact me at:

             Bonnie Jaeckle

             In Search of the Whole-Hearted Life

             Diagonal Progress

             505 Jefferson St.

             Diagonal, IA 50845

The Funeral – “A Final Act of Love” Part 2

It wasn’t until the Civil War that preservation of bodies through embalming was used in America.  Prior to that, funerals were held at home and families were responsible for and cherished the opportunity for “laying out of the dead” loved one.  “The grave was as familiar as the cradle.”

Why are Americans typically more fearful of contamination from a buried body with a potential communicable disease than a body pumped full of carcinogens, laid in metal coffins in “sealed” vaults under chemically fertilized lawns?

Turning the care of a dead loved one over to the “experts”

is a uniquely American custom,

whereas families fully participate in other countries.

Rather than paying an “outsider” thousands of dollars

to mutilate our loved one’s body in order to preserve it for a few days,

doesn’t it seem more respectful

to personally, gently and lovingly care for them ourselves,

yet allowing their corpse to appear as it is; dead?

Why do we try to make dead people look alive anyway?

“That surely can’t be legal; can it?”  It absolutely is!  Attorney Lisa Carlson’s

Caring for the Dead – Your Final Act Of Love - A complete guide for those making funeral arrangements with or without a funeral director is a wonderful book that offers funeral law for the consumer in each of the 50 states, plus the District of Columbia.

 

In this thorough, well-written book you’ll discover that the funeral “industry encompasses much more than embalming chemical companies and national professional associations.  Casket manufacturers, florists, cosmetic corporations, automobile companies, cemetery associations, insurance agencies, and other related businesses played a role in the financial triumph of the industry, which was generating billions of dollars per year in economic activity by the end of the twentieth century”.  Rather than feeding into this multi-billion dollar industry, we do have another option.  Most state codes are very clear about the privilege of burying our own dead:

• Embalming is routinely not required.
• There are typically no regulations regarding caskets.
• No state requires liners or vaults.
• Grave markers are not required.
• Burials on private property are normally allowed, with a few reasonable guidelines.

The cost of an average traditional funeral is $7-10,000.  This is 13% of the median American family’s annual income!  Most families simply can not afford this!  Enters… the “need” for Funeral Insurance.  Considering that obtaining a death certificate and a permit to transport the body for disposition, building a casket, digging a hole and making a personalized grave marker costs only a couple hundred dollars, is Funeral Insurance truly a necessity?  Americans are surely inclined to think so.

Karen Russell, director of the National Grief Support Services correctly states, “The biggest myth of all time is that time heals all.  Time does not heal; it’s the action that heals”!  In seeking a Whole-Hearted approach to every aspect of my life, I’ve come to realize that even my understanding of what’s “necessary” for the burial of loved ones has changed.  While I desire for my actions to demonstrate respect and devotion to those I love, American tradition need not be my model.  In fact, it often gets in the way.

How well our loved ones are presented in their casket doesn’t offer a genuine expression of our love for them or bring healing to our hurting hearts.  Instead, it is through ongoing acts of love that healing comes and honor is expressed.  A dear brother in Jesus worded this so beautifully when he shared with me, “there need not be any finality to the acts of love that we express for those whom we are forced to surrender up.  We continue to act out our love for them, as you have done, by our testimonies concerning them and by our deliberate practical ‘imitation’ of what we saw of Christ in them.  What God brought into our lives through them will continue to honor them, when we give expression to it.”

I pray that I never stop demonstrating honor and love for Momma through what I say and how I live my life.  May I never stop giving thanks for the blessings of being her daughter!

Whole-Heartedly,

Bonnie

The Funeral - A Final Act of Love

My husband, Gary turned 65 in May.  Needless to say, he is much older than I (wink)!  Anyway… it seems that, when the bell tolls 65, insurance companies become quite interested in you.  We’ve received more calls from insurance agents this May than we have throughout our entire marriage!  While their primary concern is medical insurance, life insurance is usually offered also.  Asking the caller if they would be willing to give him a few minutes of their time since they’ve taken a few minutes of his, Gary astutely uses the opportunity to educate the lucky person about our perspective on traditional insurance practices.  Most listen respectfully, some ask very good questions and a few indicate that more of us should consider such an approach.

Our most recent salesman even received Gary’s education about our take on funeral arrangements,

“Our loved ones will place our bodies in a box that they build,

they will dig a hole on our land

and

they will cover us with dirt.”

The seller’s response was, “That surely can’t be legal; can it?”

While our perspective on the final act of love may seem cold to some and certainly goes against the flow of modern tradition, elaborate funerals and headstones were once perceived as idolatry, are certainly unnecessary and sadly counter the biblical concept of “dust to dust”.

Having experienced Momma’s recent death, I appreciate this quote from James Farrell’s, Inventing the American Way of Death, all the more:

     The paraphernalia of the American way of death keep people… from their own feelings… This social convention developed historically, but it continues today, as Americans delegate control of death and the funerals to specialized funeral service personnel.  Consequently, funerals are custom-made only in the same sense that automobiles are, the price we pay for paying our last respects in the American way of death is the price of our personality, which we have purposely withheld from the funeral.  By our passive role in directing our funerals, we have transformed an important rite of personal passage into an impersonal rite of impassivity.

Momma and Pappa purchased a burial plot and made some funeral arrangements, based upon tradition, in advance.  Consequently, our options outside those plans were somewhat limited.  While I realize that there are truly compassionate funeral directors, had we been more intimately involved in preparing Momma for burial, it could have enhanced our grieving process and drawn our hearts nearer to one another as siblings.  What memories would have flooded our minds had Sissy and I been able to adorn Momma in her beautiful dress, fix her hair and apply make-up on her like we did when we were kids.  What a precious closing to her life it would have been for the six of us to place Momma into a “treasure chest” that the boys had built together, dig her final resting place and lower her into it.  In not doing so, I believe that we missed out on something very important in the cycle of Momma’s life.

Our American culture has convinced us that we are demonstrating respect when we allow our loved ones’:

• veins and arteries to be drained of blood and filled with chemicals,
• chest and abdomen to be emptied of fluid and replaced with preservatives,
• eyes to be fixed shut using barbed objects under their eye lids,
• anus and vagina to be packed with cotton or screwed shut,
• face to be cosmetically “restored” using stage makeup, injections, plaster and/or wax!

Is this really what we desire as our “final act of love”?  Are there other options?  Stay tune for part two of The Funeral - A Final Act of Love.

Whole-Heartedly,

Bonnie

P.S.  Please feel free to contact me with questions, thoughts, topics you’d like to ponder or to read past articles at: http://whole-heartedlife.blogspot.com/.  You may also contact me at:

             Bonnie Jaeckle

             In Search of the Whole-Hearted Life

             Diagonal Progress

             505 Jefferson St.

             Diagonal, IA 50845

DISCLAIMER:

The author of this article does not endorse everything represented on/in suggested links, books, etc.  Each of us is accountable to God to weigh everything according to His Word.

All content of this article is commentary or opinion and is protected under Free Speech. The author sells no hard products and earns no money from the recommendation of products. The information herein is presented for educational and commentary purposes only and should not be construed as professional advice from any licensed practitioner. The information is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent disease.  This is best left to the Creator of the universe.  In all health-related situations, “qualified healthcare professionals” should always be consulted.  The author deems THE GREAT PHYSICIAN to be most qualified.  The author assumes no responsibility for the use or misuse of this material.

O Death, Where Is Your Victory?

IN SEARCH OF THE WHOLE-HEARTED LIFE

O Death, Where Is Your Victory?

On June 6, 2012, Anna Ruth (Senders) Riley’s days on earth came to an end.  Receiving word of Momma’s death was bitter-sweet news.  Having always been strong and vivacious, it was heart-breaking to watch the Alzheimer’s progress as the days passed.  As empty as life feels without her, it is a relief to know that the debilitation has come to an end.

Amazingly, in all her confusion and memory loss, Momma never forgot the faces of her six children.  She’d forget that we’d come to visit five minutes after we left, but she always knew who we were when we came.  We were the apples of her eye, even to the very end.

Life was difficult for Momma.  Her childhood was unstable and married life brought no reprieve.  After seventeen years of painful loyalty, she packed-up her six children hoping to leave the insecurity behind.  While raising us alone was over-whelming, Momma worked hard to provide the security that we all needed.  It was obvious to all who knew her that Momma’s life revolved around her “babies”.

At the visitation, family and friends came to offer their condolences to the six of us while Momma lifelessly rested at the end of the room disconnected from all that was going on around her.  My husband, Gary sadly, but accurately pointed out that this was a stark picture of her last number of years; however… it isn’t the end of her story!

The next day, at Momma’s funeral, her love for Jesus was proclaimed.  We were all reminded that her strength and security was found in Him.  The vitality which she demonstrated was credited to her Savior.  The Source of her strength was pronounced and the Hope of her resurrection was declared.  While Momma’s earthly body remained lifeless, the Life that dwelled within her was very present.  I can’t imagine anyone leaving that service without feeling connected to Momma and hearing that, “Jesus is Lord!”

Indeed, Momma had a gift of bringing laughter, fun and creativity into most any setting she encountered.  She always looked for joy in life and, even through all the hardships, she demonstrated an undeniable strength.  Consequently, leaving Momma behind has always been difficult for me.  Stepping away from her one last time was no different.  While she’d not really been “present” for a number of years, the graveside brought a deep penetrating awareness that the security which she provided and her excitement for life were fast asleep.  It seemed that if I lingered by her side a bit longer, I wouldn’t have to face that reality.

After the funeral luncheon, Momma’s six children gathered together to read over her will and sort through her last few belongings.  Regardless of how much or how little is left behind, few families escape the anxiety produced from anticipating such moments.  Will everyone agree?  Will there be animosity?  Will unresolved issues come to a head?  Will the whole scene become a disgrace to Momma?  One never knows what reactions such strong emotions might trigger.  While Momma had minimal material resources, she would have been pleased to know how very much we inherited from her.  Not only were there no disagreements, love and respect was demonstrated, relationships reconciled, generosity offered and fairness sought.  We reminisced, we laughed, we cried and we encouraged one another in our pain.  The security which was handed down to us and the excitement for life that we’d inherited was alive in that room among Momma’s children.  What joy these treasures brought in the midst of our pain.

But… were do we turn from here?  We must stand firm in the Hope which Momma demonstrated so well.  We must cling to the promise that death has no power over those whom Jesus claims.  We must hold fast to the miracle that just as God brings life to a dead kernel of grain that has been sown in the ground, the lifeless body must first be buried in the grave before it can spring forth again in victory.

Momma’s body, deprived of all life was sown in weakness,

yet we must never forget that the day will soon come

when her grave will open

and

the bands of death will be loosed

and

she will be raised in power into new life!

For the Lord Himself will come down from heaven,

with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and (Momma) will rise (to) be with the Lord forever.

1 Thessalonians 4:16, 17

O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting?”

 thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

1 Corinthians 15:55, 57

AMEN!

Whole-Heartedly,

Bonnie

P.S.  Please feel free to contact me with questions, thoughts, topics you’d like to ponder or to read past articles at: http://whole-heartedlife.blogspot.com/.  You may also contact me at:

             Bonnie Jaeckle

             In Search of the Whole-Hearted Life

             Diagonal Progress

             505 Jefferson St.

             Diagonal, IA 50845

CARPET CLEANING IN YOUR UNDERWEAR

We have a really light-colored braided rug in our living room that shows every speck of dirt and every tiny stain!  Remind me to never mail order a rug again!  While I’m not the house cleaning fanatic that I used to be, I still don’t want our home to look like a pig pen!  So occasionally, I go to work on those rug stains.

I don’t know about you, but I get a bit concerned when spot removing products in spray bottles have this caution statement, “Avoid contact with skin and eyes.  Wear suitable protective clothing.  Avoid breathing vapor, spray or mist.”  Being that I’m spraying this stuff on my carpet, how is it that I’m to avoid getting those minute particles on my skin and into my lungs?

Regarding “personal protection” for general use the MSD (Material Safety Data) Sheet for one such product offers these suggestions:

Respiratory Protection

Where exposure cannot be adequately controlled by general or local ventilation, use appropriate respiratory protection to prevent over exposure.  An approved dust/mist respirator would be recommended.

Eye Protection: Chemical Resistant goggles or face shield

Protective Gloves: Water Impervious (Latex or Neoprene) Recommended

What are we supposed to do, don a hazardous material suit while cleaning our house?  Not this girl!  I’ve found something that works quite well for removing carpet stains without needing HazMat training or catastrophic survival gear. 

The steps to spotless carpets are not only simple and inexpensive;

they are so safe you can tackle them in your underwear if you prefer:

1. Always attack the stain as soon as you notice it.
2. While the stain is still wet, using a white or light-colored rag, blot the stain soaking up as much as possible.
3. Don’t rub!  Rubbing forces the stain into the fabric while blotting absorbs it into your cleaning rag.
4. *Repeatedly dip clean rag into a mixture of ¼ cup water with ¼ cup white vinegar and dab the carpet until the solution has embedded the remaining stain.
5. Dip the cloth in the solution again, place cloth on the stain and weigh rag down for 15 minutes giving the stain time to break down.
6. Repeat these steps until the stain is gone

* Note: On dry stains, begin with step #4.

Why in the world hadn’t someone thunk of this a long time ago?  Oh yeah, they did!  Regardless of how toxic the contents might be, for some reason we are just more attracted to the pretty packages on the store shelves and the persuasive, but deceptive media hype.  You don’t have to get sucked in… in order to get your stains out!

Whole-Heartedly,

Bonnie

P.S.  Please feel free to contact me with questions, thoughts, topics you’d like to ponder or to read past articles at: http://whole-heartedlife.blogspot.com/.  You may also contact me at:

             Bonnie Jaeckle

             In Search of the Whole-Hearted Life

             Diagonal Progress

             505 Jefferson St.

             Diagonal, IA 50845