America is once again gearing-up for celebrating its independence. I’ve recently received several notes regarding a retired Marine who spontaneously stood at a “Tea Party” to proudly sing the fourth stanza of the Star Spangled Banner. It is often pointed out that after hearing this emotion-driven verse, one can hardly refute that early America was a nation which placed its trust in God.
While I’m certainly not “anti-American,” I do want to discourage drawing uninformed conclusions regarding the implications of this song. To do so, all the lyrics must be considered.
The Star Spangled Banner
By Francis Scott Key 1814
Oh, say can you see by the dawn's early light
What so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming?
Whose broad stripes and bright stars thru the perilous fight,
O'er the ramparts we watched were so gallantly streaming?
And the rocket's red glare, the bombs bursting in air,
Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there.
Oh, say does that star-spangled banner yet wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave?
On the shore, dimly seen through the mists of the deep,
Where the foe's haughty host in dread silence reposes,
What is that which the breeze, o'er the towering steep,
As it fitfully blows, half conceals, half discloses?
Now it catches the gleam of the morning's first beam,
In full glory reflected now shines in the stream:
'Tis the star-spangled banner! Oh long may it wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!
And where is that band who so vauntingly swore
That the havoc of war and the battle's confusion,
A home and a country should leave us no more!
Their blood has washed out their foul footsteps' pollution.
No refuge could save the hireling and slave
From the terror of flight, or the gloom of the grave:
And the star-spangled banner in triumph doth wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!
Oh! thus be it ever, when freemen shall stand
Between their loved home and the war's desolation!
Blest with victory and peace, may the heav'n rescued land
Praise the Power that hath made and preserved us a nation.
Then conquer we must, when our cause it is just,
And this be our motto: "In God is our trust."
And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave.
• Verse one - Rockets and bombs are strongly picturesque of weapons used in the bloody warfare of this world and are hardly like that which God calls His children to use, “The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world.” Instead, we are to depend upon “divine power” (2 Cor. 10:4).
• Verse two - Unlike the “Foe’s haughty host,” which America so proudly warred against, the enemies that God’s children confront are “not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms” (Eph. 6:12).
• Verse three – We can assume that these “foul footsteps” were washed away by blood which included countless brothers in Christ! God declares that He will contend with those who shed the blood of His people (Is. 49:25-26, Rev. 16:1-7). God is not a “Power” that seeks to slaughter hirelings and slaves. He is the fortress, stronghold, deliverer and shield for those who take refuge in Him. (Ps. 144:2). For them, the grave has no power!
• Verse four – God would never concur with the idolatrous pride and ruthless greed involved in worldly warfare as being a “just cause”! He would never receive praise for nor accept arrogant rejoicing over the spilled blood of His family members! God scoffs at such declarations of “trust” in Him (Ps. 2:4, 59:8)!
Can we rightly contend that this anthem honors the One who gave us a new command to love our brothers and our enemies? Can American Christians justify murdering “foreign” siblings so that they can enjoy “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness”? (John. 15:12, Luke. 6:27)
Singing praises to God for "victory and peace" obtained through merciless bloodshed is blasphemous of Jesus and what He accomplished! Jesus redeemed brothers and sisters out of every nation (Rev. 5:9). The idea that one nation is of God and another evil is idolatrous! “…all nations ... are regarded by him as worthless” (Is. 40:17)!
Since the Church is God’s only preserved nation, Christians must recognize the tremendous confusion created by mingling (and virtually equating) civil freedom and gospel freedom. Such intermingling too often results in justifying lethal force in order to accomplish a religious end.
In 1 Peter 2:21-23, we are told that Jesus left an example which we are “called” to follow, “When they abused him, he did not retaliate, when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly.”
Mentioning God in a national anthem is certainly no evidence of a Christian foundation. “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father…” (Matt. 7:21) which is demonstrated by our willingness to “lay down our lives for our brothers” (1 John. 3:16).
To be honest, in light of God’s Word, I have a real hard time joining in the singing of this militaristic piece.
Whole-Heartedly,
Bonnie
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Thursday, June 24, 2010
SPIRITUALITY: TOO MUCH HEAT!
Recently a young lady cried out to me, “Some days are just too much!” Most of us can identify with her proclamation! Have you ever wondered, “What’s the purpose behind all of this? Why doesn’t God intervene and turn down the heat?”
I pray that my response to her may help to shine some light on your circumstances and bring you peace.
I know sometimes it feels like it is too much; that you can’t take any more. Yet, you know what? God is using the pressure of what you consider to be "too much" in order to pursue you! He loves you! He desires more of you and He is relentless! He often turns up the heat until we say, "Take all of me, God! There is no other real purpose in life. Do whatever you want in order to break me and make me fully yours!"
I’ve frequently heard, “All you have to do is fully surrender your heart to Jesus!” So… off I’d go into my little corner determined to “surrender”! Yet, no matter how hard I tried, it seemed as though I could never surrender enough! The guilt was so overwhelming that I often questioned my faith.
What does ‘full surrender’ look like, anyway?
I’ve come to realize that surrendering is not a one time deal, as it is often described. Instead, it is a regular response to an on-going pursuit of God for His child. Each time Father turns up the heat, His child responds by surrendering a bit more.
It’s important, though, to understand that genuine surrendering is not something that we can determine to “muster-up.” Instead, it is something that the Spirit of Jesus works in us, according to His perfect plan and timing.
I know that sometimes it feels like God is just playing games with us. I've accused Him of that myself! However:
• He knows exactly what type of heat and temperature level is needed to accomplish His will within each of us. For you, it may be “minor” health issues. For someone else it might be a life-threatening incident. For me, it may be multiple broken relationships. For someone else it might be a “simple” argument.
• He knows exactly when the next level of surrendering needs to happen. This is not only for your sake, but for those whom your life impacts. God has a panoramic view and He knows precisely when the temperatures need to rise!
Usually the heat gets turned-up again and again
until
He has our attention
and
we realize that it is Him pursuing us!
When we begin to realize this, it's easier to tolerate the heat. Instead of trying to escape through some type of sinful response, there is peace in knowing that He is continuing His work in our lives. In time, we learn to respond as Jesus did when He was faced with the cross, "Lord, this heat feels unbearable. Please remove it from me. However, if there is no other way to accomplish Your will in and through me, give me strength to bear it!”
Whole-Heartedly,
Bonnie
I pray that my response to her may help to shine some light on your circumstances and bring you peace.
I know sometimes it feels like it is too much; that you can’t take any more. Yet, you know what? God is using the pressure of what you consider to be "too much" in order to pursue you! He loves you! He desires more of you and He is relentless! He often turns up the heat until we say, "Take all of me, God! There is no other real purpose in life. Do whatever you want in order to break me and make me fully yours!"
I’ve frequently heard, “All you have to do is fully surrender your heart to Jesus!” So… off I’d go into my little corner determined to “surrender”! Yet, no matter how hard I tried, it seemed as though I could never surrender enough! The guilt was so overwhelming that I often questioned my faith.
What does ‘full surrender’ look like, anyway?
I’ve come to realize that surrendering is not a one time deal, as it is often described. Instead, it is a regular response to an on-going pursuit of God for His child. Each time Father turns up the heat, His child responds by surrendering a bit more.
It’s important, though, to understand that genuine surrendering is not something that we can determine to “muster-up.” Instead, it is something that the Spirit of Jesus works in us, according to His perfect plan and timing.
I know that sometimes it feels like God is just playing games with us. I've accused Him of that myself! However:
• He knows exactly what type of heat and temperature level is needed to accomplish His will within each of us. For you, it may be “minor” health issues. For someone else it might be a life-threatening incident. For me, it may be multiple broken relationships. For someone else it might be a “simple” argument.
• He knows exactly when the next level of surrendering needs to happen. This is not only for your sake, but for those whom your life impacts. God has a panoramic view and He knows precisely when the temperatures need to rise!
Usually the heat gets turned-up again and again
until
He has our attention
and
we realize that it is Him pursuing us!
When we begin to realize this, it's easier to tolerate the heat. Instead of trying to escape through some type of sinful response, there is peace in knowing that He is continuing His work in our lives. In time, we learn to respond as Jesus did when He was faced with the cross, "Lord, this heat feels unbearable. Please remove it from me. However, if there is no other way to accomplish Your will in and through me, give me strength to bear it!”
Whole-Heartedly,
Bonnie
Thursday, June 17, 2010
WHO JOINS THIS MAN AND THIS WOMAN?
It’s Wedding Month! In the U.S. alone, 2.3 million couples “tie the knot” every year. Only one out of five adults never marries. From the time of Adam and Eve, the marital relationship between a man and a woman has been ordained by God. However, some things have changed!
Consider that 84 % of Christians marry or that 80% of weddings are performed in churches or synagogues, yet 33 % of these “unions” end in divorce. Something is drastically wrong! Although there are many facets of marriage that need to be addressed, I would like to ponder the concept of marriage licenses.
A little research reveals that marriage has not always required validation by the state or the church. In fact, a marriage license from the county office of the land of Eden wasn’t necessary for Adam and Eve! During the Roman Empire, if a couple regarded each other as husband and wife, the marriage was valid. In fact, for most of Western history, marriage was a private contract between two families.
Even Christianity,
for 1,600 years
defined the validity of a marriage
by
a couple's personal intentions!
Up to the mid-19th century, states ruled that public cohabitation was sufficient evidence of a valid marriage. In fact, it is widely recognized that even George and Martha Washington were married without a license! Today, these couples would be labeled as “living in sin”! Yet, during all these centuries, couples remained together much more consistently than today.
In 1923, the Federal Government established the Uniform Marriage and Marriage License Act. By 1929, every state in the Union had adopted marriage license laws attempting to make marriage an institution. Obviously, all these laws have not helped to stabilize marriages.
Is marriage:
a spiritual union
or
a man-made institution,
a right granted by God to His children
or
a “privilege” controlled by the state?
Black's Law Dictionary defines "license" as, "The permission by competent authority to do an act which without such permission [...] would be illegal. If such permission is required for God’s children, were their marriages prior to the 1900s illicit?
As Citizens of His kingdom, it was God who brought Eve to Adam [Genesis 2:22]. In Hebrew culture, only God’s presence is the necessary legal power to the union. It is God who joins together a husband and wife [Malachi 2:14, 15; Matthew 19:6]. It was and is His authority alone that rules marital covenants. The intervention of another party has never been required.
Yet, listen to the introductory words of a traditional wedding ceremony, “We are gathered together here in the sight of God – and in the face of this company – to join together this man and this woman in holy matrimony…” At the end of the ceremony, the “minister” announces, “And now – through me – He [God] joins you together in one of the holiest bonds.”
Many people who make no claim to be Christian obtain a “license”, arrive at a basilica and pay a man to proclaim “you are now joined together.” Are they “one” in God’s sight? I always wondered why Adam blamed God for his marital problems! Maybe it was because God didn’t invite a clergyman to “do” their wedding!
Although it is understood that Christians are admonished to keep all the laws of men, what do civil laws really say about the necessity of obtaining the courts permission and a “qualified” person to solemnize a marriage? Is marriage without a license “illegal” as the laws seem to imply? According to my research thus far, many, if not all states have a similar disclaimer as this one in Iowa,
595.17 EXCEPTIONS.
The provisions of this chapter, as they relate to procuring
licenses and to the solemnizing of marriages are not applicable to members of a denomination having an unusual mode of entering the marriage relation.
Considering that one-third of all “marriages” end in divorce, perhaps Christians need to return to being “a denomination having an unusual mode” which trusts God to decide which marital covenants He deems legitimate.
Whole-Heartedly,
Bonnie
Consider that 84 % of Christians marry or that 80% of weddings are performed in churches or synagogues, yet 33 % of these “unions” end in divorce. Something is drastically wrong! Although there are many facets of marriage that need to be addressed, I would like to ponder the concept of marriage licenses.
A little research reveals that marriage has not always required validation by the state or the church. In fact, a marriage license from the county office of the land of Eden wasn’t necessary for Adam and Eve! During the Roman Empire, if a couple regarded each other as husband and wife, the marriage was valid. In fact, for most of Western history, marriage was a private contract between two families.
Even Christianity,
for 1,600 years
defined the validity of a marriage
by
a couple's personal intentions!
Up to the mid-19th century, states ruled that public cohabitation was sufficient evidence of a valid marriage. In fact, it is widely recognized that even George and Martha Washington were married without a license! Today, these couples would be labeled as “living in sin”! Yet, during all these centuries, couples remained together much more consistently than today.
In 1923, the Federal Government established the Uniform Marriage and Marriage License Act. By 1929, every state in the Union had adopted marriage license laws attempting to make marriage an institution. Obviously, all these laws have not helped to stabilize marriages.
Is marriage:
a spiritual union
or
a man-made institution,
a right granted by God to His children
or
a “privilege” controlled by the state?
Black's Law Dictionary defines "license" as, "The permission by competent authority to do an act which without such permission [...] would be illegal. If such permission is required for God’s children, were their marriages prior to the 1900s illicit?
As Citizens of His kingdom, it was God who brought Eve to Adam [Genesis 2:22]. In Hebrew culture, only God’s presence is the necessary legal power to the union. It is God who joins together a husband and wife [Malachi 2:14, 15; Matthew 19:6]. It was and is His authority alone that rules marital covenants. The intervention of another party has never been required.
Yet, listen to the introductory words of a traditional wedding ceremony, “We are gathered together here in the sight of God – and in the face of this company – to join together this man and this woman in holy matrimony…” At the end of the ceremony, the “minister” announces, “And now – through me – He [God] joins you together in one of the holiest bonds.”
Many people who make no claim to be Christian obtain a “license”, arrive at a basilica and pay a man to proclaim “you are now joined together.” Are they “one” in God’s sight? I always wondered why Adam blamed God for his marital problems! Maybe it was because God didn’t invite a clergyman to “do” their wedding!
Although it is understood that Christians are admonished to keep all the laws of men, what do civil laws really say about the necessity of obtaining the courts permission and a “qualified” person to solemnize a marriage? Is marriage without a license “illegal” as the laws seem to imply? According to my research thus far, many, if not all states have a similar disclaimer as this one in Iowa,
595.17 EXCEPTIONS.
The provisions of this chapter, as they relate to procuring
licenses and to the solemnizing of marriages are not applicable to members of a denomination having an unusual mode of entering the marriage relation.
Considering that one-third of all “marriages” end in divorce, perhaps Christians need to return to being “a denomination having an unusual mode” which trusts God to decide which marital covenants He deems legitimate.
Whole-Heartedly,
Bonnie
Thursday, June 10, 2010
NATIONALISM - THERE IS A FLAG
When the land was made up of many kingdoms, each king had a flag that flew over his castle. Wherever the king went, the flag was flown overhead so that people could identify his presence.
Even today most nations have a flag which identifies them from others and a designated day each year for honoring their flag. In fact, in some countries, flying their national flag from public buildings is required by law.
The week of June 14 is designated as "National Flag Week.” The president will urge U.S. citizens to fly the American flag throughout the week. All Government buildings are also to display the flag. Various organizations hold parades and events celebrating the American flag and all that it represents.
As children of Christ’s Kingdom, is there a flag that we can raise in order for others to recognize our King and our Nation?
In 1897 there was a “Christian” flag designed during an impromptu speech made by Charles C. Overton. This flag is now flown in thousands of “churches,” most often next to an American flag. In fact, the design of it was inspired by the American flag.
But, do others recognize Jesus when they see this flag flown? Does our King reside in a building? Is this flag visible for those outside the basilica to see? Is it taken wherever our King goes so that others can identify Him? Or is there another kind of flag for citizens of the Kingdom of God to raise that will rightly honor their King?
As I ponder all of this, I’m reminded of a catchy little tune entitled:
THERE IS A FLAG
There is a flag flown from the castle of my heart,
The castle of my heart, the castle of my heart;
There is a flag flown high from the castle of my heart
When the King is in residence there.
So raise it high in the sky, let the whole world know,
Let the whole world know, let the whole world know;
So raise it high in the sky, let the whole world know
That the King is in residence there
Love is the Flag flown from the castle of my heart,
The castle of my heart, the castle of my heart;
Love is the flag flown high from the castle of my heart
When the King is in residence there.
Peace is the Flag flown from the castle of my heart,
The castle of my heart, the castle of my heart;
Peace is the flag flown high from the castle of my heart
When the King is in residence there.
Joy is the Flag flown from the castle of my heart,
The castle of my heart, the castle of my heart;
Joy is the flag flown high from the castle of my heart
When the King is in residence there.
It is my prayer that, during this “National Flag Week,” the holy nation of God will also raise their “flag” as a testimony to all other nations that there is only one King of kings who rules over all and deserves our allegiance.
Whole-Heartedly,
Bonnie
Even today most nations have a flag which identifies them from others and a designated day each year for honoring their flag. In fact, in some countries, flying their national flag from public buildings is required by law.
The week of June 14 is designated as "National Flag Week.” The president will urge U.S. citizens to fly the American flag throughout the week. All Government buildings are also to display the flag. Various organizations hold parades and events celebrating the American flag and all that it represents.
As children of Christ’s Kingdom, is there a flag that we can raise in order for others to recognize our King and our Nation?
In 1897 there was a “Christian” flag designed during an impromptu speech made by Charles C. Overton. This flag is now flown in thousands of “churches,” most often next to an American flag. In fact, the design of it was inspired by the American flag.
But, do others recognize Jesus when they see this flag flown? Does our King reside in a building? Is this flag visible for those outside the basilica to see? Is it taken wherever our King goes so that others can identify Him? Or is there another kind of flag for citizens of the Kingdom of God to raise that will rightly honor their King?
As I ponder all of this, I’m reminded of a catchy little tune entitled:
THERE IS A FLAG
There is a flag flown from the castle of my heart,
The castle of my heart, the castle of my heart;
There is a flag flown high from the castle of my heart
When the King is in residence there.
So raise it high in the sky, let the whole world know,
Let the whole world know, let the whole world know;
So raise it high in the sky, let the whole world know
That the King is in residence there
Love is the Flag flown from the castle of my heart,
The castle of my heart, the castle of my heart;
Love is the flag flown high from the castle of my heart
When the King is in residence there.
Peace is the Flag flown from the castle of my heart,
The castle of my heart, the castle of my heart;
Peace is the flag flown high from the castle of my heart
When the King is in residence there.
Joy is the Flag flown from the castle of my heart,
The castle of my heart, the castle of my heart;
Joy is the flag flown high from the castle of my heart
When the King is in residence there.
It is my prayer that, during this “National Flag Week,” the holy nation of God will also raise their “flag” as a testimony to all other nations that there is only one King of kings who rules over all and deserves our allegiance.
Whole-Heartedly,
Bonnie
Thursday, June 3, 2010
A GOD WHO FORGIVES AND REBUILDS
My niece, Kelly and her husband, Mark came to visit us this weekend. What a joy it was to have them! Kelly and I developed a close bond when she was a little girl. I was 14 when she was born. This was my first experience of being an aunt and I thought she was the most precious thing that ever lived! Many years have passed since then and whenever we are together, we find ourselves reminiscing of the many fond memories we’ve shared. A lot of times, we laugh more than we talk! I enjoy her so much!
Some times I wonder if we aren’t hiding unresolved pain behind all our laughter. As an adult, I was aware of some of the childhood pain that Kelly was experiencing. I hurt for her. As a young girl, Kelly observed much of my pain as I tried to find my way in the adult world. I’m sure this affected Kelly’s heart, as well.
As Kelly moved into her teen and college years, she often spent the weekend with us. She and my son, Jake have a special relationship as a result of those times together. We loved having her! Yet, I helplessly observed as she began to make some of the same mistakes as my own. Again, I wanted to do something to protect her! But, what?
I distinctly remember the day when she called and said, “Aunt B, I’m getting married and I would like for you to sing at my wedding!” What an honor! Yet, when we hung up the phone from that conversation, I cried. I should have been happy for her and I was, but… I also feared that she would experience even more hurt and disappointment. I didn’t want that for her!
As I look back over those years, I realize now that I was so caught-up in trying to keep my own head above water, that I didn’t have the time or energy that Kelly or my other nieces deserved. I was barely making it through my own life, how in the world could I have ever helped them!
Have you ever made decisions that you know set a bad example for those whom you love?
Does your heart break when you consider that following in your footsteps has brought pain into their lives?
Do you ever wish that you could go back and do things all over again?
When we desire to walk in the footsteps of Jesus, He can transform our poor decisions into blessings which we can pass along to others. Through the guidance of His Spirit we can be strong enough in the Lord to be available for those we love. Having experienced some healing of our own, we can set a godly example for them.
The Lord seems to be providing opportunities for me to connect with several of my nieces in deeper ways than I had ever imagined. I am so thankful! Yet, my heart aches as I learn how much their lives have been affected by this world of sin. I want to be humble enough to share with them how the Lord has used the trials and poor choices in my life to draw me closer to Him. I want to be “Jesus with skin on” and love my nieces right where they are. Maybe… just maybe, I can help them find the healing and wholeness in their lives for which Jesus died.
We may not be able to go back and do things over again. However, we have been blessed with a God who forgives and rebuilds!
Whole-Heartedly,
Bonnie
Some times I wonder if we aren’t hiding unresolved pain behind all our laughter. As an adult, I was aware of some of the childhood pain that Kelly was experiencing. I hurt for her. As a young girl, Kelly observed much of my pain as I tried to find my way in the adult world. I’m sure this affected Kelly’s heart, as well.
As Kelly moved into her teen and college years, she often spent the weekend with us. She and my son, Jake have a special relationship as a result of those times together. We loved having her! Yet, I helplessly observed as she began to make some of the same mistakes as my own. Again, I wanted to do something to protect her! But, what?
I distinctly remember the day when she called and said, “Aunt B, I’m getting married and I would like for you to sing at my wedding!” What an honor! Yet, when we hung up the phone from that conversation, I cried. I should have been happy for her and I was, but… I also feared that she would experience even more hurt and disappointment. I didn’t want that for her!
As I look back over those years, I realize now that I was so caught-up in trying to keep my own head above water, that I didn’t have the time or energy that Kelly or my other nieces deserved. I was barely making it through my own life, how in the world could I have ever helped them!
Have you ever made decisions that you know set a bad example for those whom you love?
Does your heart break when you consider that following in your footsteps has brought pain into their lives?
Do you ever wish that you could go back and do things all over again?
When we desire to walk in the footsteps of Jesus, He can transform our poor decisions into blessings which we can pass along to others. Through the guidance of His Spirit we can be strong enough in the Lord to be available for those we love. Having experienced some healing of our own, we can set a godly example for them.
The Lord seems to be providing opportunities for me to connect with several of my nieces in deeper ways than I had ever imagined. I am so thankful! Yet, my heart aches as I learn how much their lives have been affected by this world of sin. I want to be humble enough to share with them how the Lord has used the trials and poor choices in my life to draw me closer to Him. I want to be “Jesus with skin on” and love my nieces right where they are. Maybe… just maybe, I can help them find the healing and wholeness in their lives for which Jesus died.
We may not be able to go back and do things over again. However, we have been blessed with a God who forgives and rebuilds!
Whole-Heartedly,
Bonnie
Thursday, May 27, 2010
LIFESTYLE - THE GRAVES OF THE RIGHTEOUS
Memories of Memorial Day festivities have been flittering through my mind: picnics, playing in the park, splashing in the lake, and endless games of baseball with siblings and cousin. However, before any of that took place, we always made trips to several cemeteries. Although we barely had enough money for groceries, Momma always made sure that the grave sites of loved ones were nicely decorated.
I have pictures of my siblings, cousins and me standing in our Sunday best at the cemetery biting at the bit to change our clothes and get to the park! Walking through the cemetery searching for the family graves was like walking on egg shells and it wasn’t because momma allowed high-heels for Sunday attire! Instead, if it looked like we were even close to stepping on a grave; our arm was nearly pulled out of socket!
Many practices people preserve such as placing flowers, lights, epitaphs and pictures on frequently elaborate tomb stones remind me of a story about a young new wife who planned to fix a roast for her beloved husband. Prior to placing the roast in the pan, she cut the end of it off. When her husband questioned her about why, she responded, “I don’t know. That’s what mom always did.” When she inquired, her mother responded, “I don’t know. That’s what Gramma always did.” When the mother inquired, Gramma’s response was, “Because I didn’t have a pan big enough for the roast!”
A Sunday drive past a cemetery shortly after Memorial Day reminds us that these grave yard traditions are still held in high regard by many. In fact, the over-flowing bags of decorations my friend collects before mowing cemeteries is only a small sample of what people spend on decorating grave sites!
Please understand that I’m not criticizing the deep emotional pain and grief experienced when someone we love dies. Even Jesus experienced this (John 11:33, 35). I’m also not suggesting that it is wrong to cherish the memory of a loved one. However, referring to such practices as building elaborate monuments and decorating graves, Jesus said:
“Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites!
For you build the tombs of the prophets
and
decorate the graves of the righteous, ….” (Matt. 23:29).
I want to understand why Jesus made such a reference. We need to be careful that we do not practice traditional coping mechanisms which go beyond what pleases God.
In my efforts to learn more, I have spent several hours researching this topic and have discovered that, at least in part, “decorating graves with flowers and wreaths, alms and good deeds, were intended to shorten the time of suffering of the souls of the deceased in purgatory.” I have found that these customs have developed out of ancient pagan practices including those of the Cult of the Dead. This concerns me! I don’t want to be upholding and perpetuating anything that does not glorify my Lord, Jesus!
If you enjoy doing research or have reliable information about the history of these practices, I’d love to hear from you! Maybe the Lord will encourage me to write about this again once I’ve developed a clearer understanding.
Whole-Heartedly,
Bonnie
I have pictures of my siblings, cousins and me standing in our Sunday best at the cemetery biting at the bit to change our clothes and get to the park! Walking through the cemetery searching for the family graves was like walking on egg shells and it wasn’t because momma allowed high-heels for Sunday attire! Instead, if it looked like we were even close to stepping on a grave; our arm was nearly pulled out of socket!
Many practices people preserve such as placing flowers, lights, epitaphs and pictures on frequently elaborate tomb stones remind me of a story about a young new wife who planned to fix a roast for her beloved husband. Prior to placing the roast in the pan, she cut the end of it off. When her husband questioned her about why, she responded, “I don’t know. That’s what mom always did.” When she inquired, her mother responded, “I don’t know. That’s what Gramma always did.” When the mother inquired, Gramma’s response was, “Because I didn’t have a pan big enough for the roast!”
A Sunday drive past a cemetery shortly after Memorial Day reminds us that these grave yard traditions are still held in high regard by many. In fact, the over-flowing bags of decorations my friend collects before mowing cemeteries is only a small sample of what people spend on decorating grave sites!
Please understand that I’m not criticizing the deep emotional pain and grief experienced when someone we love dies. Even Jesus experienced this (John 11:33, 35). I’m also not suggesting that it is wrong to cherish the memory of a loved one. However, referring to such practices as building elaborate monuments and decorating graves, Jesus said:
“Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites!
For you build the tombs of the prophets
and
decorate the graves of the righteous, ….” (Matt. 23:29).
I want to understand why Jesus made such a reference. We need to be careful that we do not practice traditional coping mechanisms which go beyond what pleases God.
In my efforts to learn more, I have spent several hours researching this topic and have discovered that, at least in part, “decorating graves with flowers and wreaths, alms and good deeds, were intended to shorten the time of suffering of the souls of the deceased in purgatory.” I have found that these customs have developed out of ancient pagan practices including those of the Cult of the Dead. This concerns me! I don’t want to be upholding and perpetuating anything that does not glorify my Lord, Jesus!
If you enjoy doing research or have reliable information about the history of these practices, I’d love to hear from you! Maybe the Lord will encourage me to write about this again once I’ve developed a clearer understanding.
Whole-Heartedly,
Bonnie
Thursday, May 20, 2010
THE MISSING LINK IN RELATIONSHIPS
Expressing frustration and hurt regarding broken relationships, a young lady recently shared, “Everytime I finally reach solid ground, there’s an earthquake and I fall right back to the dark bottomless pit. I’m so angry with myself!” My heart went out to her because I understand her pain and confusion. Because she reported that my response to her “hit the nail on the head,” I thought it might be helpful to others who find themselves in a similar situation.
I want to share a memory with you that has come to mind several times while praying for you.
One day when I was grieving yet another failing relationship, I cried out to the Lord, "What is it about me that attracts such messed-up people?" His immediate response, "Bonnie, have you ever considered that the reason you repeatedly get into these kinds of relationships is because you never ask My opinion about them." I froze in my tracks. I hadn't even considered this! How could I expect relationships to be fulfilling if they weren’t relationships that God desired for me in the first place?
It was at this point when I realized, “There are hurting, ‘messed-up’ people no matter where I go and if I don’t deal with the issues in my own heart that attract me to them in the first place, I’ll get connected with them no matter where I go! Unless I want to repeat the painful process, I must start seeking God’s guidance and direction in relationships.”
I was beginning to realize that there are “healthier” people out there, but unhealthy people don’t attract healthy people! Consequently, I found myself asking, “What causes me to be attracted to these people to begin with?”
I often connected with wounded people because I could identify with their pain and I wanted to help them. I sense you have a similar heart. In some ways I did help them. Yet, I would end up getting hurt because they weren’t meeting my needs. I expected unhealthy people to respond in a healthy way. They can’t!
I realize now that I was also placing too much emphasis on trying to get my needs met through people. I need a dad, but…other men can’t fill that void. I need unconditional love, but… wounded family and friends aren’t capable of that. In fact, if people could fulfill those needs, we wouldn’t need God! Do you suppose that He may have designed things that way?
The only way that our relationships will come even close to being fulfilling is if we seek intimacy with Jesus first.
I realize that this may sound kind of trite, but in my efforts to deal with the hurt and disappointments of relationships, I have found that this is true. When we place our relationship with Jesus in its proper order, we will find that we begin to seek out relationships with others who certainly won’t be perfect, but who also desire and are working toward getting their lives on the “right track.” This doesn’t mean that we won’t connect with “unhealthy” people. If we walk in the footsteps of Jesus, we certainly will. However, our motives for doing so and our response to their unhealthiness will be changed.
I freely admit that I don’t have all the answers, but… if I can help others by exposing my mistakes and sharing the lessons I’ve learned along the way, it makes the struggles all worth it. Be assured that I’d be willing to go through it all over again to see both your and other’s lives filled with genuine peace and joy.
Whole-Heartedly,
Bonnie
I want to share a memory with you that has come to mind several times while praying for you.
One day when I was grieving yet another failing relationship, I cried out to the Lord, "What is it about me that attracts such messed-up people?" His immediate response, "Bonnie, have you ever considered that the reason you repeatedly get into these kinds of relationships is because you never ask My opinion about them." I froze in my tracks. I hadn't even considered this! How could I expect relationships to be fulfilling if they weren’t relationships that God desired for me in the first place?
It was at this point when I realized, “There are hurting, ‘messed-up’ people no matter where I go and if I don’t deal with the issues in my own heart that attract me to them in the first place, I’ll get connected with them no matter where I go! Unless I want to repeat the painful process, I must start seeking God’s guidance and direction in relationships.”
I was beginning to realize that there are “healthier” people out there, but unhealthy people don’t attract healthy people! Consequently, I found myself asking, “What causes me to be attracted to these people to begin with?”
I often connected with wounded people because I could identify with their pain and I wanted to help them. I sense you have a similar heart. In some ways I did help them. Yet, I would end up getting hurt because they weren’t meeting my needs. I expected unhealthy people to respond in a healthy way. They can’t!
I realize now that I was also placing too much emphasis on trying to get my needs met through people. I need a dad, but…other men can’t fill that void. I need unconditional love, but… wounded family and friends aren’t capable of that. In fact, if people could fulfill those needs, we wouldn’t need God! Do you suppose that He may have designed things that way?
The only way that our relationships will come even close to being fulfilling is if we seek intimacy with Jesus first.
I realize that this may sound kind of trite, but in my efforts to deal with the hurt and disappointments of relationships, I have found that this is true. When we place our relationship with Jesus in its proper order, we will find that we begin to seek out relationships with others who certainly won’t be perfect, but who also desire and are working toward getting their lives on the “right track.” This doesn’t mean that we won’t connect with “unhealthy” people. If we walk in the footsteps of Jesus, we certainly will. However, our motives for doing so and our response to their unhealthiness will be changed.
I freely admit that I don’t have all the answers, but… if I can help others by exposing my mistakes and sharing the lessons I’ve learned along the way, it makes the struggles all worth it. Be assured that I’d be willing to go through it all over again to see both your and other’s lives filled with genuine peace and joy.
Whole-Heartedly,
Bonnie
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